Category: health

Destination Addiction?

Until I saw this post, I have never heard of the term “destination addiction.”

However, I definitely knew it existed.

So many people “search” for happiness.

We humans tend to think that the next big job, the next big move, the next big date, the next big meal, the next WHATEVAHS will bring us happiness.

We are, essentially, little kids asking our father “When we will get there? (or “Are we there yet?)” Thinking that happiness will arrive “just over the next hill.”

The truth is that we will NEVER arrive at happiness.

We must choose to be happy now, or at least to find slivers of happiness amidst our suffering (if that is our current state).

Nothing brings happiness to us.

We DECIDE to find happiness in the now. Then we can cultivate that seed of happiness and it will continue to grow.

Don’t try to ARRIVE at happiness.

DRIVE with happiness, today!

Happy Tuesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

Focused or stressed?

I had the privilege of listening to some amazing speakers tonight on a zoom call (yeah, that’s a thing now, didn’t know if you heard). Dr Cody Elledge spoke to my soul about stress vs focus. And low and behold, sticking to my wife’s computer was the above image.

She is so smart!

At first glance, the words “focused” and stressed are similar.

Even our good pal Webster and his Dictionary state they are synonyms.

However, the difference is that when you are stressed about or over something (or in today’s realities, many things), you tend to be obsessive about the PROBLEM, and not looking or working toward the SOLUTION.

When you are stressed, your body is flooded with negative chemicals. Your heart rate increases, your digestion slows down, your adrenals are taxed, you become fatigued, yet you can’t sleep. Your reproductive system is sluggish, your blood pressure elevates, and your ability to think clearly actually decreases as well.

So you obsess over the problem, make your self LITERALLY sick, and you arrive no closer to the solution.

On the other hand, if instead you are focused, you are actively searching for ways to improve your situation and to escape whatever 💩storm you find yourself in.

When you flip the script from stress to focus, you are finely tuned. Your heart rate may increase, but only at first. When you focus, your brain secretes chemicals that help you achieve a goal, rather than stay put in the endless spiral of stress-worry-stress-worry. When you focus, your cortical thinking improves and you ACHIEVE results.

So stressed and focused are similar , but the end results are MONUMENTALLY different.

So acknowledge the stressors in your life today, but choose what you want to FOCUS on, work toward the solutions, and get busy living your best life!

-Dr Lindeman

The space that allows choice

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms- to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances”- Viktor Frankl, from Man’s Search for Meaning

If you haven’t read the above mentioned book by Viktor Frankl, I highly recommend that you do.

It is a wonderful book. Viktor Frankl was a doctor/psychologist who was also Jewish and because of that second fact, he was placed in a concentration camp by the Nazis. His family was murdered while he was in captivity.

His stance is that a human being’s number one motivation is not to seek pleasure (as Freud and many others postulated), but to seek MEANING.

When we can find meaning in any situation, we will overcome any obstacle.

The good news is almost 100% of the time, if we look hard enough, there is meaning to be found either within the struggle or on the other side of it.

So today, when facing a hurdle, large or small, look for meaning within and you will overcome.

Happy Thursday!

-Dr Lindeman

Time and Patience

“Speed is about time, but it’s also closely related to endurance and effort. The faster the speed, the thinking goes, the less endurance or effort required. Patience, on the other hand, requires endurance and effort.”- Taken from Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, by Lori Gottlieb

Later, in the same book (about a page later), she quotes the psychoanalyst Erich Fromm: “Modern man thinks he loses something-time- when he does not do things quickly; yet he does not know what to do with the time he gains except kill it.”

Our world is filled with a lot of hurry, hurry, now, now.

We want results/things/growth/success/our haircut/our food/our dose of dopamine (social media, I’m looking at you)/our purchases/our everything as soon as we give even the thoughts our energy.

Patience is not modern human’s virtue.

The conundrum is that the time spent waiting, the time spent in patience, the time spent just BE-ing bears more fruit for the soul than the actual “getting.”

Spend some time in a cam state today. Revel in the patience, it will bring much better dividends than the pressure-filled moments do.

Happy Thursday!

-Dr Lindeman

You never truly know

This is all truth!

The “little acts of kindness” we are all so very capable of, may in fact equate to huge sums of impact for the people we share them with.

You never know how much a simple smile, a cup of coffee, a thank you note, etc will impact the receiver(s).

We also don’t know how much better doing them will make US feel.

There really isn’t a reason NOT to try to brighten someone’s day, even a little bit.

That little bit can pay HUGE dividends in the lives of others and in our own happiness.

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

Are you a star or a leader?

Simon Sinek is awesome.

He is an excellent speaker and author and an all around wonderful human being.

I received this in his daily email service today:

“A star wants to see themselves rise to the top. A leader wants to see those around them become stars.”-Simon Sinek

What a simple but powerful message.

If we want to succeed for our benefit we may become stars.

And we may burn bright, for a time, only to burn out just as fast.

But if our motivation is to help lift others up, to inspire, to create positive change within others (which will also do the same for us, it’s kind of a law), then the light we help create will burn sooooo much brighter and for soooo much longer.

Focus on LEADING, not shining.

Have a wonderful Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

Fireflies like the dark too

I just started reading: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb (check it out here ) and I like it so far!

This line is great and bears repeating: “It’s not as if we’re going to peer in those darker corners, flip on the light, and find a bunch of cockroaches. Fireflies love the dark too. There’s beauty in those places. But we have to look in there to see it.”

So true!

I truly wish the stigma of mental health could be washed away.

Especially now, with all the craziness of the pandemic, disconnection, solitude, political and social turmoil…we need others to help keep our lives sane.

We need to talk to somebody.

I have gone to counselors and therapists numerous times.

It’s not because I am “crazy.”

It’s because I finally realized that with my drive to improve my life, my family’s life and to improve the world, sometimes I need different people riding shotgun, helping me navigate through my past, present and future.

Sometimes we need professionals to help guide us through the muck and mire.

And I, for one, am so thankful they are there and I have access to these people.

So please, if you are feeling stressed, depressed, low…know there are truly wonderful people out there that will help you see the fireflies in the darkness.

Don’t ever suffer alone.

The world needs you and holding it al in yourself isn’t helping anyone.

And again, sometimes it’s great to talk to someone just about your big dreams and aspirations and they can help you balance them all so ambition doesn’t drive you wild.

Know this: you are loved and needed.

Happy Wednesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Upgrade!

We are supposed to have BIG dreams.

In our office, we call them B.H.AG.s. Big Hairy Audacious Goals.

We need to dream dreams that take our breath away!

So don’t match your dreams to you current reality, what’s the fun in that?

Dream big.

Then get busy realizing that those goals.

By taking steps (even little ones) in their direction, you give those audacious goals a trim, and the more steps you take, you can see they aren’t so hairy (nor audacious) after all.

Happy Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman