Until I saw this post, I have never heard of the term “destination addiction.”
However, I definitely knew it existed.
So many people “search” for happiness.
We humans tend to think that the next big job, the next big move, the next big date, the next big meal, the next WHATEVAHS will bring us happiness.
We are, essentially, little kids asking our father “When we will get there? (or “Are we there yet?)” Thinking that happiness will arrive “just over the next hill.”
The truth is that we will NEVER arrive at happiness.
We must choose to be happy now, or at least to find slivers of happiness amidst our suffering (if that is our current state).
Nothing brings happiness to us.
We DECIDE to find happiness in the now. Then we can cultivate that seed of happiness and it will continue to grow.
The true joy in life comes not from the accolades, finish lines or etc.
True joy is found on the journey toward our goals.
We may not realize it at the time, because putting in the work to get to where we want to go, is hard.
However, without the “struggle”, our achievements would be far less meaningful.
The award you win for completing a 10k would be a glorified paperweight if it was easy to achieve.
Even an Olympic medal would be just another shiny object if winning it was easy.
So, no matter how hard the struggle is now, realize that in the end, this time, this toil and this work you are putting in will truly lead to a more fulfilling life.
I had the privilege of listening to some amazing speakers tonight on a zoom call (yeah, that’s a thing now, didn’t know if you heard). Dr Cody Elledge spoke to my soul about stress vs focus. And low and behold, sticking to my wife’s computer was the above image.
She is so smart!
At first glance, the words “focused” and stressed are similar.
Even our good pal Webster and his Dictionary state they are synonyms.
However, the difference is that when you are stressed about or over something (or in today’s realities, many things), you tend to be obsessive about the PROBLEM, and not looking or working toward the SOLUTION.
When you are stressed, your body is flooded with negative chemicals. Your heart rate increases, your digestion slows down, your adrenals are taxed, you become fatigued, yet you can’t sleep. Your reproductive system is sluggish, your blood pressure elevates, and your ability to think clearly actually decreases as well.
So you obsess over the problem, make your self LITERALLY sick, and you arrive no closer to the solution.
On the other hand, if instead you are focused, you are actively searching for ways to improve your situation and to escape whatever 💩storm you find yourself in.
When you flip the script from stress to focus, you are finely tuned. Your heart rate may increase, but only at first. When you focus, your brain secretes chemicals that help you achieve a goal, rather than stay put in the endless spiral of stress-worry-stress-worry. When you focus, your cortical thinking improves and you ACHIEVE results.
So stressed and focused are similar , but the end results are MONUMENTALLY different.
So acknowledge the stressors in your life today, but choose what you want to FOCUS on, work toward the solutions, and get busy living your best life!
Taken from “Maybe You Should Talk To Someone” by Lori Gottlieb
The other day, I was driving with my son. It had been one of those days where I was lost in thought, thinking of what I needed to get done before Christmas.
He interrupted my thoughts to point out a house that was wonderfully decorated and lit up with Christmas lights.
It was an amazing sight. (Well, maybe not as amazing as our very own Christmas Llama on our front lawn, but still…)
The point is, our world at any given moment is what we choose to observe.
Our world is made up of what we bring with us.
If we are negative because of a crappy morning, the world is going to be dulled, less beautiful.
If we are in a soaring mood, we will notice the beauty all around.
The good news is we can choose what we bring with us.
We can decide to imbibe all the craziness that is social media, relish in nasty comments.
We can decide to fume over some slight that happened to us yesterday.
We can decide to listen to music that only makes us cry more.
We can decide to switch the playlist and listen to joy.
We can read beautiful poetry.
We can fuel our souls with good food, good company and positivity.
We can decide how beautiful our world will be today by bringing whatever amount of beauty we want with us on today’s journey.
“Because at the end of the day, love wins.” (Taken from Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb).
If you’ve had any bad days lately (pretty sure most of us have), the key to not carrying it over to the next day is to realize that one day doesn’t create a month or year or etc.
The key is to resize that after the 24 hours, that day is done.
Over-with.
Kaput.
The sun comes up again in the morning ($100 you are hearing Annie’s voice in your head now, bet your bottom dollar) and you get another chance at another day.
One way to push toward a better mañana is to end the day with love.
Stop and breathe. Be grateful that you had a day (even if it was “a day”), and find something to love about the day. Even if it is something incredibly small.
Then, take some time to tell someone you love them.
Finally, take some time to tell yourself that you are loved.
End the day with love, because the truth is LOVE AWAYS WINS.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms- to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances”- Viktor Frankl, from Man’s Search for Meaning
If you haven’t read the above mentioned book by Viktor Frankl, I highly recommend that you do.
It is a wonderful book. Viktor Frankl was a doctor/psychologist who was also Jewish and because of that second fact, he was placed in a concentration camp by the Nazis. His family was murdered while he was in captivity.
His stance is that a human being’s number one motivation is not to seek pleasure (as Freud and many others postulated), but to seek MEANING.
When we can find meaning in any situation, we will overcome any obstacle.
The good news is almost 100% of the time, if we look hard enough, there is meaning to be found either within the struggle or on the other side of it.
So today, when facing a hurdle, large or small, look for meaning within and you will overcome.
I Read this today: “No matter what, you’ll never get today back”. Truth.
But I also think we can read that and think “we better make today amazing” and that’s not the best policy either.
I think the key is to know today whether an amazing day at work or a mediocre one at best, a day of sunshine, birds singing or stormy and cold. Today cannot be saved.
It must be savored.
So the best policy is to be fully IN it today. Be present, appreciate today for being today. Connect with others, give and receive some love and appreciate the fact that today is finite.
Your life is determined by which lens you choose to peer through.
Obstacles are a constant.
This year, you’ve probably had to navigate a course filled with them.
Number 1: realize that you’ve passed the test so far, you are still here 🙂
Number 2: look at every obstacle as an opportunity, because that is what an obstacle truly is: an opportunity for change/growth/different thinking/discomfort/improvement.
We can look at the obstacles placed in front of us and bemoan them to our (pessimist) heart’s content…
Or we can change our view point, switch out our lens and see the opportunities that lie hidden within.