Too often, I believe, we humans strive for “perfection.”
That trip is a fool’s errand. There is no “perfect” at the end of the journey. Perfection is in the eye of the beholder for one, and for two: true perfection doesn’t exist.
And you wouldn’t want that anyway.
If you could achieve the perfect (INSERT SOMETHING HERE), where would you go from there? The only way forward is to reverse.
And if you achieved perfection and just wanted to stay there, that would be incredibly boring, cold and NOT meaningful.
Instead, strive for excellence.
The journey toward excellence seems to be filled with a lot more joy, and that needle will constantly be able to be moved more to the right.
When you strive toward excellence, you will achieve much more satisfaction, the journey will never end, and you won’t give up in the pursuit.
I believe, too often, we (myself included) have a tendency to listen to others in order to respond.
We really should listen to learn.
It is harder than it sounds.
In order to listen to learn, we must be connected, intentionally hearing what others have to say. We must also silence our thoughts as they naturally attempt to formulate a rebuttal or an application to ourselves.
When we truly “lend an ear” to those we are with, we grow in compassion, connection and improve.
“Because at the end of the day, love wins.” (Taken from Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb).
If you’ve had any bad days lately (pretty sure most of us have), the key to not carrying it over to the next day is to realize that one day doesn’t create a month or year or etc.
The key is to resize that after the 24 hours, that day is done.
Over-with.
Kaput.
The sun comes up again in the morning ($100 you are hearing Annie’s voice in your head now, bet your bottom dollar) and you get another chance at another day.
One way to push toward a better mañana is to end the day with love.
Stop and breathe. Be grateful that you had a day (even if it was “a day”), and find something to love about the day. Even if it is something incredibly small.
Then, take some time to tell someone you love them.
Finally, take some time to tell yourself that you are loved.
End the day with love, because the truth is LOVE AWAYS WINS.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms- to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances”- Viktor Frankl, from Man’s Search for Meaning
If you haven’t read the above mentioned book by Viktor Frankl, I highly recommend that you do.
It is a wonderful book. Viktor Frankl was a doctor/psychologist who was also Jewish and because of that second fact, he was placed in a concentration camp by the Nazis. His family was murdered while he was in captivity.
His stance is that a human being’s number one motivation is not to seek pleasure (as Freud and many others postulated), but to seek MEANING.
When we can find meaning in any situation, we will overcome any obstacle.
The good news is almost 100% of the time, if we look hard enough, there is meaning to be found either within the struggle or on the other side of it.
So today, when facing a hurdle, large or small, look for meaning within and you will overcome.
We have a much bigger IMPACT on the world when we help others.
And (if you’ve read any of my other blog posts you know) when we help others we also have a larger, longer lasting impact on our own happiness as well.
The good news is that we are all in a position that we can help others.
Some of us can donate to charities.
Some of us can help our neighbors by bringing in their mail, taking their leaves, etc if they are unable to do so themselves.
Some of us can go grocery shopping for a friend who is ill.
Some of us can lend a helping hand or even a smile to a stranger.
Some us us can send thank you cards to the people that have helped us in our lives.
No matter the method, we can all help someone and I fact lots of someone’s.
It’s a great thing to learn, to push, too improve.
It’s also a great thing to sit back, realize the world we live in is pretty amazing, these bodies we inhabit are awesome, and LIFE. IS. GOOD. 🙂
Take some time today to simply notice the above fact.
Have an awesome Tuesday!
-Dr. Lindeman
P.S. Below is an excerpt from my book “Purposely Positive” on relaxing a bit and enjoying life!
“If you go out into the world destined to improve it for everyone, that is a truly noble and amazing purpose. But what happens when you just want to enjoy Saturday for Saturday’s sake? Your purpose needs to be so strong that you are O.K. with letting up some slack every now and then. Sunsets are amazing. Can you add to them? Sure, you may be able to enjoy the moment more fully by sharing it with someone you love. The beauty may inspire thoughts that uplift you even more, but you cannot make God’s gift of a sunset more beautiful than it already is. You don’t have that power, and quite honestly, you probably wouldn’t want it. Breathe it in and savor. Sometimes the simple act of a breath is magic in itself. You have to let go sometimes, and just let things BE. (On a side note, I highly recommend a few apps for this. Check out the Breathe App through the iTunes store. It gives you daily reminders and practice to just focus on breathing for one minute at a time. Also, Insight Timer is a great meditation app for beginners and gurus alike. Check them out, you won’t be disappointed).
As you continue on your journey of self-discovery, reaching toward your inspiration and allowing it to turn the tide from negative to positive, realize that sometimes you just need to sit back, breathe, and notice. Pausing in your busy life for moments at a time can help calm your monkeys, improve focus, and allow (ironically) for more time to get things done. Relaxing a bit (on purpose) will lower your stress levels, improve circulation, and benefit your overall physical and mental health. Sounds like a pretty good cost-to-benefit ratio to me. Taking some time to relax and to be calm is a vital cog in your transformation.”
“It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.”-Will Rodgers
It always amazes me that the biggest to key to growth in any area, is more about eliminating other things/feelings/emotions/actions in order to create space for new branches to emerge.
In order to truly learn, we must first unlearn.
Unlearn: to forget and stop doing (something, such as a habit) in a deliberate way because it is false or incorrect (Source: Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary).
If you can think of an area that you desire growth in, a “garden” you want to cultivate. The first piece of advice: explore your current landscape and find weeds that you need to pull to create space for what you truly want to thrive.
If you truly want to grow, to succeed to become a better version of who you are today, you need to be able to search for ways to eliminate in order to create a vacuum. You need to first figure out what could be holding you back. You need to look into barriers that you may have (intentionally/unintentionally) built that have kept you right where you currently are. These thoughts/feelings/activities may have served you well up to this point, but you may need to eliminate them now in order to create space in order for brighter/better things to grow.
Look for these weeds/anchors that limit your potential and get busy tending to your garden.
At any given moment (like right now!), you can start your re-education process. You may not be able to fully pull the weeds out with one tug, but by working on these weeds day by day, you will create room for new beliefs to grow.
You get to decide what to plant there. You are good enough. You are exactly the person for the complicated job of being you. You are whole. You are the only you there is, and it’s time to stop hiding.
The weeds have taken over for far too long.
Unlearn.
Your mind is your garden. Start cultivating.
Happy Monday friends!
-Dr. Lindeman
Cultivate the garden in your mind to create a beautiful landscape in the future
Dissemination of Inspiration 