You life is what you carry

Taken from “Maybe You Should Talk To Someone” by Lori Gottlieb

The other day, I was driving with my son. It had been one of those days where I was lost in thought, thinking of what I needed to get done before Christmas.

He interrupted my thoughts to point out a house that was wonderfully decorated and lit up with Christmas lights.

It was an amazing sight. (Well, maybe not as amazing as our very own Christmas Llama on our front lawn, but still…)

The point is, our world at any given moment is what we choose to observe.

Our world is made up of what we bring with us.

If we are negative because of a crappy morning, the world is going to be dulled, less beautiful.

If we are in a soaring mood, we will notice the beauty all around.

The good news is we can choose what we bring with us.

We can decide to imbibe all the craziness that is social media, relish in nasty comments.

We can decide to fume over some slight that happened to us yesterday.

We can decide to listen to music that only makes us cry more.

We can decide to switch the playlist and listen to joy.

We can read beautiful poetry.

We can fuel our souls with good food, good company and positivity.

We can decide how beautiful our world will be today by bringing whatever amount of beauty we want with us on today’s journey.

Have a BEAUTIFUL Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

The space that allows choice

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms- to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances”- Viktor Frankl, from Man’s Search for Meaning

If you haven’t read the above mentioned book by Viktor Frankl, I highly recommend that you do.

It is a wonderful book. Viktor Frankl was a doctor/psychologist who was also Jewish and because of that second fact, he was placed in a concentration camp by the Nazis. His family was murdered while he was in captivity.

His stance is that a human being’s number one motivation is not to seek pleasure (as Freud and many others postulated), but to seek MEANING.

When we can find meaning in any situation, we will overcome any obstacle.

The good news is almost 100% of the time, if we look hard enough, there is meaning to be found either within the struggle or on the other side of it.

So today, when facing a hurdle, large or small, look for meaning within and you will overcome.

Happy Thursday!

-Dr Lindeman

Today…

I Read this today: “No matter what, you’ll never get today back”.
Truth.

But I also think we can read that and think “we better make today amazing” and that’s not the best policy either.

I think the key is to know today whether an amazing day at work or a mediocre one at best, a day of sunshine, birds singing or stormy and cold. Today cannot be saved.

It must be savored.

So the best policy is to be fully IN it today. Be present, appreciate today for being today. Connect with others, give and receive some love and appreciate the fact that today is finite.

You will never get today back.

-Happy Tuesday!

Dr Lindeman

Lasting fulfillment

This is so true!

We have a much bigger IMPACT on the world when we help others.

And (if you’ve read any of my other blog posts you know) when we help others we also have a larger, longer lasting impact on our own happiness as well.

The good news is that we are all in a position that we can help others.

Some of us can donate to charities.

Some of us can help our neighbors by bringing in their mail, taking their leaves, etc if they are unable to do so themselves.

Some of us can go grocery shopping for a friend who is ill.

Some of us can lend a helping hand or even a smile to a stranger.

Some us us can send thank you cards to the people that have helped us in our lives.

No matter the method, we can all help someone and I fact lots of someone’s.

So we can all achieve fulfillment.

Have a fulfilling Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

You never truly know

This is all truth!

The “little acts of kindness” we are all so very capable of, may in fact equate to huge sums of impact for the people we share them with.

You never know how much a simple smile, a cup of coffee, a thank you note, etc will impact the receiver(s).

We also don’t know how much better doing them will make US feel.

There really isn’t a reason NOT to try to brighten someone’s day, even a little bit.

That little bit can pay HUGE dividends in the lives of others and in our own happiness.

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

“It’s what we know that ain’t so”

“It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.”-Will Rodgers

It always amazes me that the biggest to key to growth in any area, is more about eliminating other things/feelings/emotions/actions in order to create space for new branches to emerge.

In order to truly learn, we must first unlearn.

Unlearn: to forget and stop doing (something, such as a habit) in a deliberate way because it is false or incorrect (Source: Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary).

If you can think of an area that you desire growth in, a “garden” you want to cultivate. The first piece of advice: explore your current landscape and find weeds that you need to pull to create space for what you truly want to thrive.

If you truly want to grow, to succeed to become a better version of who you are today, you need to be able to search for ways to eliminate in order to create a vacuum. You need to first figure out what could be holding you back. You need to look into barriers that you may have (intentionally/unintentionally) built that have kept you right where you currently are. These thoughts/feelings/activities may have served you well up to this point, but you may need to eliminate them now in order to create space in order for brighter/better things to grow.

Look for these weeds/anchors that limit your potential and get busy tending to your garden.

At any given moment (like right now!), you can start your re-education process. You may not be able to fully pull the weeds out with one tug, but by working on these weeds day by day, you will create room for new beliefs to grow.

You get to decide what to plant there. You are good enough. You are exactly the person for the complicated job of being you. You are whole. You are the only you there is, and it’s time to stop hiding.

The weeds have taken over for far too long.

Unlearn.

Your mind is your garden. Start cultivating.

Happy Monday friends!

-Dr. Lindeman

Cultivate the garden in your mind to create a beautiful landscape in the future

Certainly life is uncertain

These times are strange.

My kids start school today, as does my wife (she’s a teacher).

They are going to be remote learning for at least a month, and although they have had meetings, preparation times, etc, no one really knows what it is going to look, feel and sound like for sure.

Both boys admitted they were nervous this morning, and my wife most certainly is from her end.

It is going to be very interesting this year.

However, with uncertainty comes huge opportunity for growth.

There is no progress without struggle. And there will be struggles.

But, if we can all realize that growth occurs most swiftly during large challenges, we can realize that through this muck and mire, we all will emerge all the better for it.

My heart, thoughts and love go out to all the families, kids, teachers going through this.

We will all get through to a much brighter future!

Happy Thursday!

-Dr Lindeman

Heal thy self

I saw this on a message from Elephant Journal. It kid of gave me pause.

So true we should not seek help from those who continue to hurt us.

The same goes for ourselves.

If we feel we let ourselves down, we need to push forward from the perspective of whom we want to grow to be.

We cannot create new, positive habits with the same negative thinking that created our old, bad habits.

We need to fathom our future from the perspective of our improved, future selves.

As Coach Klein said in The Waterboy with Adam Sandler: “visualize and attack.”

Picture whom you want to be and then work on doing things to get yourself there.

Happy Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

Doubt thy self, much?

Self doubt.

The achilles heel of almost every single individual. I can’t tell you how many times (because I haven’t actually counted, that would be kind of weird, but I know it is a lot) I’ve heard highly successful people/athletes state that they are their “own worst critic.” They are harder on themselves than any coach, boss or outsider could ever be. No problem there, because they use that criticism in a CONSTRUCTIVE manner. They use it as fuel to improve, to work harder and to grow. Too often, the average Joe/average Josephine are their own worst critics, but they use it not as a propellant to improve, but rather as a big truck full of cement to keep them right where they are.

Self doubt is rooted in fear. We are afraid to branch out in case we fail. But I honestly believe it isn’t the fear of failure that stops us, it’s the fear that someone (or multiple people) will see or know that we tried and failed. As I have stated before, we crave social connection and in fact need it for our very survival. Subconsciously, if we feel that could be jeopardized by a failure, we keep the opportunities to branch out closer to the trunk/on a short leash. There are two things very wrong with this thinking. 1) Most people don’t care what you are going to try and succeed or fail at. They are too busy living their own lives and worrying about what you will think of them. 2) The world needs what you haven’t figured you are amazing at doing yet.

Your untapped potential could be helping a lot of us (myself included) live our lives better. We are all connected on some level and your success will only aid mine. There is not a finite amount of happiness or talent or anything else ethereal, to go around. When you branch out and attempt new things (that you may be awesome at), you aren’t stealing them away from anyone else. And, let’s say you do attempt something new, and fail miserably. You fall flat on your face, creating a pancake where your nose used to be. There may be a couple of people who snicker a bit. There will be a few people who point out your shortcomings, and may be downright butt-holes about your failure, but the vast majority will come to your aid and help you prepare and execute your next attempt. The will to help and the power of positive connection will drown out any of the negative chatter one-hundred-fold.

In order to move into the next decade/century/millenium/day/week, we need YOUR innovation. We need YOUR intelligence. We need YOUR desire to improve. We need YOUR attempts, YOUR failures, and ultimately YOUR vast amount of successes. So doubt yourself all you want, but catch those doubts and see how you can use them to propel you forward, for the benefit of all of us.

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

-Dr Lindeman