The paradox of intention

Vishen Lakhiani (creator of Mindvalley.com) discussed a phenomenon known as “the paradox of intention” in a great talk you can find here.

He discusses 4 states of being. Think of a square with four boxes.

People can be happy now, unhappy now, have small dreams of the future or have big dreams of the future.

Too often people are not hitting the sweet spot (upper right if you are playing along at home). People tend to be content now and not thinking of future growth, or sadly more-often-than-not, unhappy now but big dreams of the future.

The caveat is this: in order for true growth to occur, we need to be happy now but with big dreams of the future as well.

So dream big, but also be extremely grateful for how far you’ve already come in life.

Start with gratitude, smile big and keep on dreaming-all are factors to make those dreams come true!

Happy Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

Act as if…

I know many times, we human beings can be complacent.

Sometimes it’s sheer laziness.

Sometimes, it’s because we believe that since we are only 1/7,800,000,000th of the world’s population, what we do is too small to matter.

Maybe we feel that our actions/thoughts are just drops in a gigantic bucket.

Here’s the thing though: that bucket is so full because of the other 7.8 billion thoughts/actions put their drops in there!

One small action may seem infinitesimal, but without a whole heckuva lot of them, nothing gets accomplished and the “bucket” remains empty.

Also, your actions are more-than-likely going to cause others to act as well, and that butterfly effect can create huge consequences.

So, if you are holding back on writing your book, your blog, starting your business, saying what you feel, donating what you can, etc, because you feel your impact will be too small… rethink and realize, the world NEEDS your positive input.

WE (MYSELF INCLUDED) NEED what you can give!

Your “drop” matters SO much more than you know, and you are vastly more powerful that you can imagine!

William James - Act as if what you do makes a difference....

Get busy filling that bucket!

Happy Wednesday, my friends!

-Dr. Lindeman

YOUR Race

This guy is probably very fast.

Odds are, I can’t match his speed on the ice.

mountain-bike-speed-big

This girl is probably very fast.

Odds are, I can’t match her speed on the mountain bike trail.

And odds are, the top guy probably can’t ice skate on a mountain bike trail as fast as she can ride, and she probably can’t ride as fast on the ice as this guy can skate.

The point is this:

THEY ARE GREAT AT THEIR RACES, BUT PROBABLY NOT AMAZING AT EACH OTHER’S.

You are the only person that is uniquely suited to running your race/your life.

And yet, you probably compare yourself to others all the time.

Today, focus on running YOUR race to the best of YOUR ability, and forget about what anyone else is doing.

And when you do find yourself comparing, just picture a guy in roller-skates trying to take 1st place in the 200 meter backstroke in the pool… and realize that’s what you’re doing 😉

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

Life’s paper cuts/little triggers

In my book, one chapter is dedicated to the fact that life’s small inconveniences (spilled coffee, stepping in a mud puddle, etc) can exponentially create an entire “bad day.”

We tend to overreact to small problems when compared to large ones.

In the book, “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert, he discusses WHY these little triggers (as he titles them) can cause more havoc than big, devastating events.

We have a psychological immune systems, like many systems in our bodies, work with thresholds. When something is large enough to go over that threshold a defense mechanism is triggered and set into motion. We can rationalize a breakup with someone we love. We can overcome fractures, dislocations, and the links easier than we can overcome a slice to the pinky toe. We can move on stronger when we don’t get the job we sorely wanted more easily than we can overcome ruining our favorite shirt with a bbq stain.

When the attack is under our threshold, we don’t deploy our defensive “troops” to overcome the insult.

So what does this mean?

It means we are amazing, first of all.

We were created with extreme resiliency to overcome huge challenges.

It also means we need to be more vigilant in working through the little things in order to circumvent their effects.

Be conscious of life’s little cuts, and actively work to overcome them. The big stuff, most likely, we are already prepared for.

Happy Wednesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Human Connection

This morning, I watched a great interview with Nicholas Epley (author of “Mindwise” and Professor of Behavioral Science at the University of Chicago).

The interview was about the role of human connection on happiness, and the lengths people go to in order to avoid social interaction sometimes even though research shows that such connections make both parties much happier.

He discussed an interesting study.

People’s happiness levels were measured after increasing their income 4x (400%!) and measured people’s happiness levels when they felt “lonely yesterday.”

The feeling of loneliness had a 7x impact (negatively) in happiness levels compared to an income increase of 400%!

That is remarkable!

Loneliness DRASTICALLY affects our happiness levels.

And yet in many instances, we choose to be lonely. On the bus, the train at D.I.A., on planes, in the checkout line at the supermarket, etc, we choose to keep to ourselves rather than connect with those around us. Some studies show this is because we feel we don’t want to “bother them,” but the research shows in almost all instances, engaging in light conversation/connection benefits the happiness of both parties.

We are more “connected” than ever before by virtue of social media, but we are also more lonely than ever before. Especially during these crazy times, it is even more imperative to reach out to others.

We are all lonely at times.

Work to change that today.

You will make others, AND YOURSELF, much happier in the process.

Happy Tuesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

Don’t be the center

“Don’t be the center of attention at your office.”-Dr Greg Howard

This was said at the wonderful zoomcast conference this past weekend. Dr. Howard was bringing the point home that even though we run our chiropractic offices, we should not be the center of attention.

This can be applied to any job/position.

True leaders earn their position as a leader by focusing on the people they serve.

You can be given a title of “leader” by virtue of a job description, but people will not truly follow you unless you first put them in the forefront of your interests.

The world is full of powerful people.

They are not necessarily considered leaders.

In large corporations, there are CEOs, CFOs, Vice Presidents, etc. There are also an innumerable amount of leaders on every floor, in every group and in al situations.

Strive to lead others, by putting yourself second.

If we all focused on helping others, focused the groups we get to help (lead), I promise we all would be better off.

Lead strong (by loving others) today!

Happy Wednesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Bodacious Bridge Building

I attended (via Zoom) an amazing conference this past weekend.

There were a LOT of great speakers, but one of my favorites had these two gems:

“You need to be willing to give up what you want now, for what you truly want forever” and “discipline is the bridge between our goals and achievements.” – Dr Jennifer Knobbe

It was a great reminder and impetus for me to start re-building bridges to where I truly want to go.

It’s easy to get comfortable in the moment. It’s easy to do things that make us a tiny bit happier than putting in a tiny bit more work would.

It is imperative to refresh and to re-energize in order to succeed, but there are times and places for that.

I realized I was taking breaks when I should have been working on my dreams, AND taking breaks when I was supposed to be taking breaks.

Coasting never creates momentum (unless it is downhill).

We don’t need to push ourselves so hard that we give up. But, we all know when we could use a bit more push in order to succeed, and I am truly grateful for those reminders.

Thank you Dr Knobbe (and all the other amazing speakers, many of which I will probably quote in the coming weeks 🙂

Get building those bridges!

Happy Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Pygmies and the horizon

This story was taken from the book below:

“About 50 years ago a Pygmy named Kenge took his first trip out of the dense, tropical forests of Africa and into the open plains in the company of an anthropologist. Buffalo appeared in the distance-small black specks against a bleached sky- and the Pygmy surveyed them curiously. Finally, he turned to the anthropologist and asked what kind of insects they were. “When I told Kenge that these insects were indeed large buffalo, he roared with laughter and told me not to tell such stupid lies.”

The Pygmy had no concept of a distant horizon, he lived his life in a dense tropical forest. His perception drove his reality.

Sometimes we need to borrow others’ vision in order to see what is possible. Sometimes we don’t have a concept of a distant horizon 🙂

Borrow a BIG vision for your future today!

Happy Thirsday

-Dr Lindeman

Practice Kindness… It makes YOU happy

Want to be happier?

Be NICE to others 🙂

There is a PLETHORA of evidence that shows when we practice kindness toward others, we increase our own happiness. This study published in the Journal of Social Psychology showed that people who performed acts of kindness for 10 days, were significantly happier than those who did not.

The website: kindness.org did a meta-analysis (basically taking a whole bunch of studies on the same thing, figuring out their validity and combining the results) that showed in fact “being kind genuinely does boost your happiness.” (https://medium.com/kindlab/does-kindness-create-happiness-19126c5883ff)

Another study that I learned about this morning, measured happiness scores between people who were given $5 or $20 and they could spend on themselves or others. The people who spent on others were across the board happier. Even more interesting though was they also did this study in Canada and in Uganda. $20 means a lot more to people in Uganda than it does to people living in urban Canada. The same amount of money that can buy you a few lattes in Canada can purchase important medication for your whole family in Uganda. What the researchers found was that people in both areas felt happier (and almost by the same amount) when they spent the money on others, rather than themseleves/their own families.

I love this study for a few reasons. 1) Be kind, you will be happier and 2) It doesn’t take A BIG thing to increase your happiness. Small acts of kindness will improve your own well-being just as much as HUGE ones. The good news about that, small acts are so much easier to do over-and-over again, day after day.

So do some small things, plant some kindness and soak up that love you feel inside 🙂

Have a kind and happy Wednesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

Affirm!

I believe that affirmations (especially in the morning) are powerful.

Our subconscious minds are constantly telling us things throughout the day anyway.

Our “little voices” tell us that we aren’t doing a good enough job, we aren’t good enough, we are lacking compared to “that man” or “that woman.”

If we wrote down all the negative self talk thay pops up throughout the day, we may be astonished.

So to combat…AFFIRM the positives. Create the habit of noticing how friggin awesome we are, how amazing life is, and how we are going to continue growing both (our awesomeness and the worlds amazing ness) by coaching ourselves a bit more.

You are amazing!

Tell yourself 😉

Happy Monday!

-Dr Lindeman