Doubt thy self, much?

Self doubt.

The achilles heel of almost every single individual. I can’t tell you how many times (because I haven’t actually counted, that would be kind of weird, but I know it is a lot) I’ve heard highly successful people/athletes state that they are their “own worst critic.” They are harder on themselves than any coach, boss or outsider could ever be. No problem there, because they use that criticism in a CONSTRUCTIVE manner. They use it as fuel to improve, to work harder and to grow. Too often, the average Joe/average Josephine are their own worst critics, but they use it not as a propellant to improve, but rather as a big truck full of cement to keep them right where they are.

Self doubt is rooted in fear. We are afraid to branch out in case we fail. But I honestly believe it isn’t the fear of failure that stops us, it’s the fear that someone (or multiple people) will see or know that we tried and failed. As I have stated before, we crave social connection and in fact need it for our very survival. Subconsciously, if we feel that could be jeopardized by a failure, we keep the opportunities to branch out closer to the trunk/on a short leash. There are two things very wrong with this thinking. 1) Most people don’t care what you are going to try and succeed or fail at. They are too busy living their own lives and worrying about what you will think of them. 2) The world needs what you haven’t figured you are amazing at doing yet.

Your untapped potential could be helping a lot of us (myself included) live our lives better. We are all connected on some level and your success will only aid mine. There is not a finite amount of happiness or talent or anything else ethereal, to go around. When you branch out and attempt new things (that you may be awesome at), you aren’t stealing them away from anyone else. And, let’s say you do attempt something new, and fail miserably. You fall flat on your face, creating a pancake where your nose used to be. There may be a couple of people who snicker a bit. There will be a few people who point out your shortcomings, and may be downright butt-holes about your failure, but the vast majority will come to your aid and help you prepare and execute your next attempt. The will to help and the power of positive connection will drown out any of the negative chatter one-hundred-fold.

In order to move into the next decade/century/millenium/day/week, we need YOUR innovation. We need YOUR intelligence. We need YOUR desire to improve. We need YOUR attempts, YOUR failures, and ultimately YOUR vast amount of successes. So doubt yourself all you want, but catch those doubts and see how you can use them to propel you forward, for the benefit of all of us.

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Fear can’t drive

So…it’s (its?) July, 2020 and the world is definitely on the wackadoodle side of normal. I guess a pandemic can do that. The thing that is most concerning to me, isn’t the virus. It is the fear, and how when left unchecked, it becomes a guillotine, sharp and divisive. Left vs right. Black vs white. Mask vs no mask. Vaxxers vs anti-vaxxers. The world has gone bi-polar and the middle ground (which is where I prefer to live on many things) is becoming a deeper and deeper canyon. Fear is a powerful and useful emotion. It is a great tool to spur action, to incite change. Fear should urge us to consider our options and steer our trajectory toward a brighter future. The key is it should help us use our other emotions and logic to make a decision. Fear should never drive the decision alone. Many times fear is irrational, and making decisions based on fear usually results in less-than-ideal situations. Fear is meant to propel us in short, fight vs flight moments. “Should I run from the grizzly bear, or fashion a bow and arrow out of that pine tree sapling and go toe-to-claw with the big fella?” Fear is definitively useful in those types of situations. But when fear gets to drive us on a day-to-day basis, the road we take will not be a straight, calm, collected or enjoyable one. When fear is behind the wheel, we are all over the damn road, erratic, swerving and taking a heck of a lot longer to get from point A to point B, because we aren’t really concerned with getting to point B at all, we just want to get as far away from point A as humanly possible in the shortest amount of time allowed. We aren’t concerned with a brighter future, we just want to run as far away from the here and now as we can.

Fear is regulated by a part of our brain called the amygdala, a primitive portion that when activated, shuts down our parasympathetic (resting) nervous system. Our heart rate increases, blood pressure elevates, energy is pushed away from our reproductive system and digestive system. The amygdala also puts the brakes on our prefrontal cortex a bit. As Marwa Azab, Ph.D. states in PsychologyToday.com (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neuroscience-in-everyday-life/202003/10-things-the-brain-does-in-response-pandemic) “In situations that may compromise your survival, the brain would rather be overcautious and wrong. Rumors, fake news, and anomalous stories gain credibility.” Our emotional systems override our logic-based ones and we begin actively searching for threats, rather than working toward a more calm and collected state.

In scrolling through the “news feed” of the day, I can’t help but stop at some comments that I know incite even more divisiveness. And when I read the comments, I am saddened by the loss of connection that is propagating. No matter what side people fall on any of the topics, I can’t help but feel disheartened by the anger and estranging comments. There is so much “if you don’t feel this way you are actively trying to hurt others.” Or “If you don’t feel this way, you are a sheep, blindly following those in charge.” As I said before, I wholeheartedly believe neither of these positions ring true one bit. For the past few years I actually have been telling my wife that I was concerned how separated our world was becoming. It seems there are two sides to so many things, and too often only two sides (I know that’s a lot of twos and toos). Recent events are increasing the gap and that worries me.

Human beings thrive on connection. We don’t always need to agree on everything, in fact having some discourse and disagreements can help us learn, grow and understand. But when we are sitting in a place of fear, anxiety or worry, the disagreements can escalate to firm, immovable stances, and “immovable” definitely implies, “not-growing.” It has been said numerous times before, but it bears repeating: we are only going to get through this crazy time together. I don’t mean that in a cliche sense. There have been numerous scientific studies that show the power of connection. In one such study, strong social connection was correlated with a 50% increase in longevity (https://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316) and other studies have shown that social connection boosts immunity, lowers stress and increases empathy (which is something we all could use right now).

So, during this time, it is O.K. to put your stake in the ground so that others know where you stand. Just also realize that others have a different stake in a different ground and the best thing we can do as Stephen Covey has said is to “Seek first to understand.”

Have a wonderful Tuesday

-Dr Lindeman

Love is power

Thank you, Erin (Chiropractic Assistant Extraordinaire) for sharing this!

It fits right in with a great talk a colleague (Dr Kerry Iselin) gave last night.

He discussed how before his afternoon shift, he prepared by increasing his vibration of love. He sits in calm, quiet and just brings to mind the people, things, experiences he loves that day.

This exercise helps him feel grounded, loving, removes stress, fear and worry, and in fact makes him more powerful and ready to serve.

I think Van Gough would agree.

Today, take a page from his playbook.

Think about everything and everyone you love for a few moments before starting in any task, and revel at how much better you feel and your increased ability to accomplish tasks and make a more positive impact on those around you.

Much love to you all!

Happy Wednesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Count the seeds? Or the apples?

Too often, we are concerned with the results.

We measure our days, quarters, years in numbers.

We count the apples, so to speak.

Sometimes we forget that there would be no harvest without tending to the seeds, the efforts, the process, the journey.

The numbers are important. They are a way to see where we are at that moment in time. But they don’t tell the whole story.

Unless, we are hoping the story ends there (boring and finite).

No we forget that our efforts, our imaginations, our work ethic, our vision for the future and the connections we have and create with others will determine the bounty of future harvests.

It is impossible to precisely tell what the yield we be from our efforts.

But the key is to keep tending to the seeds, and to enjoy the journey.

Count the fruit, sure, but then get busy tending to the process :-).

Have a bountiful seed-planting Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Lots of starting points

Life is full of ups and downs.

We will all strive valiantly, and we will all fail sometimes.

The key is to continue to be brave enough to restart.

At any given time we can change the trajectory of our lives (for better or for worse) by virtue of the simple decision to do so.

Decide to re-line up at the starting gate, and then take that first stride.

Even if we fall on the first step, we can always get up and re-set at the next start.

Line up. Take action. Fall.

Line up. Take action. Succeed.

Line up. Take action.

Line up.

Take action.

Line up….!

Have fun running your race today, whether it is one start and one finish or 430202143 starts, just keep lining up and taking action 😉

Happy Wendesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

The paradox of intention

Vishen Lakhiani (creator of Mindvalley.com) discussed a phenomenon known as “the paradox of intention” in a great talk you can find here.

He discusses 4 states of being. Think of a square with four boxes.

People can be happy now, unhappy now, have small dreams of the future or have big dreams of the future.

Too often people are not hitting the sweet spot (upper right if you are playing along at home). People tend to be content now and not thinking of future growth, or sadly more-often-than-not, unhappy now but big dreams of the future.

The caveat is this: in order for true growth to occur, we need to be happy now but with big dreams of the future as well.

So dream big, but also be extremely grateful for how far you’ve already come in life.

Start with gratitude, smile big and keep on dreaming-all are factors to make those dreams come true!

Happy Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

Act as if…

I know many times, we human beings can be complacent.

Sometimes it’s sheer laziness.

Sometimes, it’s because we believe that since we are only 1/7,800,000,000th of the world’s population, what we do is too small to matter.

Maybe we feel that our actions/thoughts are just drops in a gigantic bucket.

Here’s the thing though: that bucket is so full because of the other 7.8 billion thoughts/actions put their drops in there!

One small action may seem infinitesimal, but without a whole heckuva lot of them, nothing gets accomplished and the “bucket” remains empty.

Also, your actions are more-than-likely going to cause others to act as well, and that butterfly effect can create huge consequences.

So, if you are holding back on writing your book, your blog, starting your business, saying what you feel, donating what you can, etc, because you feel your impact will be too small… rethink and realize, the world NEEDS your positive input.

WE (MYSELF INCLUDED) NEED what you can give!

Your “drop” matters SO much more than you know, and you are vastly more powerful that you can imagine!

William James - Act as if what you do makes a difference....

Get busy filling that bucket!

Happy Wednesday, my friends!

-Dr. Lindeman

YOUR Race

This guy is probably very fast.

Odds are, I can’t match his speed on the ice.

mountain-bike-speed-big

This girl is probably very fast.

Odds are, I can’t match her speed on the mountain bike trail.

And odds are, the top guy probably can’t ice skate on a mountain bike trail as fast as she can ride, and she probably can’t ride as fast on the ice as this guy can skate.

The point is this:

THEY ARE GREAT AT THEIR RACES, BUT PROBABLY NOT AMAZING AT EACH OTHER’S.

You are the only person that is uniquely suited to running your race/your life.

And yet, you probably compare yourself to others all the time.

Today, focus on running YOUR race to the best of YOUR ability, and forget about what anyone else is doing.

And when you do find yourself comparing, just picture a guy in roller-skates trying to take 1st place in the 200 meter backstroke in the pool… and realize that’s what you’re doing 😉

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

Life’s paper cuts/little triggers

In my book, one chapter is dedicated to the fact that life’s small inconveniences (spilled coffee, stepping in a mud puddle, etc) can exponentially create an entire “bad day.”

We tend to overreact to small problems when compared to large ones.

In the book, “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert, he discusses WHY these little triggers (as he titles them) can cause more havoc than big, devastating events.

We have a psychological immune systems, like many systems in our bodies, work with thresholds. When something is large enough to go over that threshold a defense mechanism is triggered and set into motion. We can rationalize a breakup with someone we love. We can overcome fractures, dislocations, and the links easier than we can overcome a slice to the pinky toe. We can move on stronger when we don’t get the job we sorely wanted more easily than we can overcome ruining our favorite shirt with a bbq stain.

When the attack is under our threshold, we don’t deploy our defensive “troops” to overcome the insult.

So what does this mean?

It means we are amazing, first of all.

We were created with extreme resiliency to overcome huge challenges.

It also means we need to be more vigilant in working through the little things in order to circumvent their effects.

Be conscious of life’s little cuts, and actively work to overcome them. The big stuff, most likely, we are already prepared for.

Happy Wednesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Human Connection

This morning, I watched a great interview with Nicholas Epley (author of “Mindwise” and Professor of Behavioral Science at the University of Chicago).

The interview was about the role of human connection on happiness, and the lengths people go to in order to avoid social interaction sometimes even though research shows that such connections make both parties much happier.

He discussed an interesting study.

People’s happiness levels were measured after increasing their income 4x (400%!) and measured people’s happiness levels when they felt “lonely yesterday.”

The feeling of loneliness had a 7x impact (negatively) in happiness levels compared to an income increase of 400%!

That is remarkable!

Loneliness DRASTICALLY affects our happiness levels.

And yet in many instances, we choose to be lonely. On the bus, the train at D.I.A., on planes, in the checkout line at the supermarket, etc, we choose to keep to ourselves rather than connect with those around us. Some studies show this is because we feel we don’t want to “bother them,” but the research shows in almost all instances, engaging in light conversation/connection benefits the happiness of both parties.

We are more “connected” than ever before by virtue of social media, but we are also more lonely than ever before. Especially during these crazy times, it is even more imperative to reach out to others.

We are all lonely at times.

Work to change that today.

You will make others, AND YOURSELF, much happier in the process.

Happy Tuesday!

-Dr. Lindeman