Toxic positivity

I recently discovered the term “toxic positivity.”

Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. It’s a “good vibes only” approach. (Taken from http://www.verywellmind.com)

I choose to be positive, and I write about positivity not because I see the world through rose-colored glasses, but because I decide to realize the world is a beautiful place.

I whole-heartedly believe that when circumstances are awful, we should recognize that, allow ourselves to grieve, mourn, cry, get frustrated, angry and lash out some even.

It is always ok to not be ok.

However, I also believe that it is up to ourselves to change our situation for the future. It is up to us to learn from any challenge and apply it toward a growth mindset.

The only way positivity can be toxic is in the absence of empathy. If someone (even if it is yourself) is going through some horrible situations, I don’t believe we should talk to them (ourselves) about maintaining positivity without acknowledging THE SUCK of the situation. First and foremost, be kind, listen, hug, comfort.

Also realize that part of the comfort is the belief/faith that all things pass and life will move on and in fact can become better, eventually.

Have a blessed Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Worthy of the Miracle of Life

“Because, once we have overcome the defeats-and we always do-we are filled by a greater sense of euphoria and confidence. In the silence of our hearts, we know that we are proving ourselves worthy of the miracle of life.”-Paulo Coelho, Rio de janeiro, Novemebr 2002 (from the forward in The Alchemist)

I love this book!

I have read it a few times already and am re-reading again.

Such a simple, but moving story about following your soul’s purpose, especially when you aren’t even sure exactly what that purpose is. As long as you are doing things in life that light you up a bit, that make you feel antsy inside but also warmth, you are on the right track.

The key is to do something, anything that lights you up a bit inside. Follow the “omens” as Paulo describes them, and you will find happiness, in fact you will CREATE happiness, in your life.

I highly recommend this brief read (multiple times).

Have a fantastic Tuesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

Better Man

I have a real fond-ness for Judah and the Lion.

Their music always seems as if it comes directly from their souls.

Many songs are uplifting, and all of them seem to tug at heart strings (at least a little bit).

One song I have recently discovered is “Better Man.”

I love this stanza:

“Oh my hands to serve and love
My eyes to see and not to judge
My spirit now to rise within
And reign over my carnal skin“

As a chiropractor, any song that alludes to my hands serving already has me listening, but this stanza to me could be a meditation phrase, or a prayer for life.

And the chorus:

“And oh I just want to be a better man
And oh I just want to be a better man, yeah
And oh I just want to be a better man
And oh I just want to be a better man
As I go“

The chorus is pretty great too! I like to change the last line though from “As I go” to “As I GROW.” (I don’t think Judah nor his lion would mind me singing that to myself in my car).

As a business owner, especially as a chiropractor, I can tend to think of growth in #s, volume, etc. But this song reminds me that the true GROWTH I am looking for is growth from within. I want to grow as a person, father, husband, doctor, friend. I want to improve in all aspects, and the pacing of the song reminds me that growth is not meant to happen RIGHT AWAY.

I truly do want to grow to be a better man, and that growth feels best (and lasts) when it comes from my desire to serve, love, see and not judge, and when all of that combined comes from my spirit. So that is what I am going to work on daily…

So happy growth (from within) today people!

Happy Wednesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

Fulfillment > Achievement

Thank you for this reminder, Simon Sinek.

The true joy in life comes not from the accolades, finish lines or etc.

True joy is found on the journey toward our goals.

We may not realize it at the time, because putting in the work to get to where we want to go, is hard.

However, without the “struggle”, our achievements would be far less meaningful.

The award you win for completing a 10k would be a glorified paperweight if it was easy to achieve.

Even an Olympic medal would be just another shiny object if winning it was easy.

So, no matter how hard the struggle is now, realize that in the end, this time, this toil and this work you are putting in will truly lead to a more fulfilling life.

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Focused or stressed?

I had the privilege of listening to some amazing speakers tonight on a zoom call (yeah, that’s a thing now, didn’t know if you heard). Dr Cody Elledge spoke to my soul about stress vs focus. And low and behold, sticking to my wife’s computer was the above image.

She is so smart!

At first glance, the words “focused” and stressed are similar.

Even our good pal Webster and his Dictionary state they are synonyms.

However, the difference is that when you are stressed about or over something (or in today’s realities, many things), you tend to be obsessive about the PROBLEM, and not looking or working toward the SOLUTION.

When you are stressed, your body is flooded with negative chemicals. Your heart rate increases, your digestion slows down, your adrenals are taxed, you become fatigued, yet you can’t sleep. Your reproductive system is sluggish, your blood pressure elevates, and your ability to think clearly actually decreases as well.

So you obsess over the problem, make your self LITERALLY sick, and you arrive no closer to the solution.

On the other hand, if instead you are focused, you are actively searching for ways to improve your situation and to escape whatever 💩storm you find yourself in.

When you flip the script from stress to focus, you are finely tuned. Your heart rate may increase, but only at first. When you focus, your brain secretes chemicals that help you achieve a goal, rather than stay put in the endless spiral of stress-worry-stress-worry. When you focus, your cortical thinking improves and you ACHIEVE results.

So stressed and focused are similar , but the end results are MONUMENTALLY different.

So acknowledge the stressors in your life today, but choose what you want to FOCUS on, work toward the solutions, and get busy living your best life!

-Dr Lindeman

You cannot be too big to do the small things…

A little tongue-in-cheek but the message rings true.

If you have big dreams and aspire to accomplish a lot, you most definitely need to pay attention to how you do the “little things.”

In fact, the path toward a huge success is over with hundreds/thousands of small steps.

And if you can’t devote attention, drive and passion to the little steps, the big success will always remain just a dream.

Get busy on the little things today 🙂

Happy Monday

-Dr Lindeman

Friendly reminder

You are NEVER given anything you can’t handle.

Proof? You are reading this right now.

You will always presented with obstacles, or as my brother likes to call them “hurdles” in life.

They key is to just keep jumping. (Or in some cases, if that hurdle is meant for a giant, find another way around, under or through)

I truly hope you are not in the middle a huge tumultuous storm in your life right now, but if you are, I also hope you realize you have exactly what it takes to overcome, and to get to the calm on the other side.

You are THE ONLY person capable of living your amazing, exciting and challenging life.

Have an amazing Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

You life is what you carry

Taken from “Maybe You Should Talk To Someone” by Lori Gottlieb

The other day, I was driving with my son. It had been one of those days where I was lost in thought, thinking of what I needed to get done before Christmas.

He interrupted my thoughts to point out a house that was wonderfully decorated and lit up with Christmas lights.

It was an amazing sight. (Well, maybe not as amazing as our very own Christmas Llama on our front lawn, but still…)

The point is, our world at any given moment is what we choose to observe.

Our world is made up of what we bring with us.

If we are negative because of a crappy morning, the world is going to be dulled, less beautiful.

If we are in a soaring mood, we will notice the beauty all around.

The good news is we can choose what we bring with us.

We can decide to imbibe all the craziness that is social media, relish in nasty comments.

We can decide to fume over some slight that happened to us yesterday.

We can decide to listen to music that only makes us cry more.

We can decide to switch the playlist and listen to joy.

We can read beautiful poetry.

We can fuel our souls with good food, good company and positivity.

We can decide how beautiful our world will be today by bringing whatever amount of beauty we want with us on today’s journey.

Have a BEAUTIFUL Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

…Love wins…

“Because at the end of the day, love wins.” (Taken from Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb).

If you’ve had any bad days lately (pretty sure most of us have), the key to not carrying it over to the next day is to realize that one day doesn’t create a month or year or etc.

The key is to resize that after the 24 hours, that day is done.

Over-with.

Kaput.

The sun comes up again in the morning ($100 you are hearing Annie’s voice in your head now, bet your bottom dollar) and you get another chance at another day.

One way to push toward a better mañana is to end the day with love.

Stop and breathe. Be grateful that you had a day (even if it was “a day”), and find something to love about the day. Even if it is something incredibly small.

Then, take some time to tell someone you love them.

Finally, take some time to tell yourself that you are loved.

End the day with love, because the truth is LOVE AWAYS WINS.

Happy Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

The space that allows choice

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms- to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances”- Viktor Frankl, from Man’s Search for Meaning

If you haven’t read the above mentioned book by Viktor Frankl, I highly recommend that you do.

It is a wonderful book. Viktor Frankl was a doctor/psychologist who was also Jewish and because of that second fact, he was placed in a concentration camp by the Nazis. His family was murdered while he was in captivity.

His stance is that a human being’s number one motivation is not to seek pleasure (as Freud and many others postulated), but to seek MEANING.

When we can find meaning in any situation, we will overcome any obstacle.

The good news is almost 100% of the time, if we look hard enough, there is meaning to be found either within the struggle or on the other side of it.

So today, when facing a hurdle, large or small, look for meaning within and you will overcome.

Happy Thursday!

-Dr Lindeman