You should definitely check out The Ed Mylett podcast and Mel Robbins book: The High Give Habit
There is power (and research) in celebrating small victories, congratulating ourselves, and setting intention.
One thing the book and this podcast episode touches on is the fact that, unfortunately, we are prone to feeling unworthy of celebration. In fact we are prone to feeling unworthy in general.
We can raise that baseline simply by incorporating small celebrations and acknowledgements of our amazing worthy-ness into our daily lives.
We all deserve love. And we definitely deserve to love ourselves.
We have survived every crazy challenge that has been put before us to this point.
We have overcome many obstacles.
We do A LOT of things l, very well, every day.
We impact lives (whether we know it or not).
We have style.
We have grace.
We smile, we laugh, we love, we help, we even provide energy for others (including nature).
We are amazing.
Listen ti the podcast, read the book, and HIGH FIVE yourselves today!
I really like the book and I thought this was powerful.
Your thoughts exert incredible influence in your daily life.
Sometimes you can’t control your thoughts, negative things, judgmental thoughts, etc will pop up. However, you can decide how much emphasis to place in those thoughts and you can always re-frame the next thought as a rebuttal to the negative.
You can always decide to focus on the positives in your current reality instead of false negatives.
You are the captain of your ship and you can choose to steer wisely, toward a more positive future.
I just started reading it last night, but I love it!
Simon talks about the difference between finite games and infinite games in business, and in life.
Finite games are “played” with a goal of winning, beating the competition, becoming “the best.”
In life (and in business), the best things are truly INFINITE.
You don’t truly want to be “the best” at what you do. Because, in reality, you know that being the best is HIGHLY temporary. There will always be new players, new competition, new rules, new advancements, new hurdles, etc.
Take for instance, the NFL. The NFL is most likely switching to a 17 game season as opposed to a 16 game season. Think about how many “bests” will be beaten with one more game. Passing records, rushing records, sack records, etc. all have a HUGE probability to be beaten with the addition of one more game.
Being the best, ends.
Looking at FINITE successes eventually leads to a cold-end game.
Instead, as Mr. Sinek proposes, focus on infinite successes. Fulfillment > Victory.
Focus on fulfillment for you, your family, your friends, your community, and for future generations and you will lead a much happier life, and your “victories” will go on in the future, rather than being the used-to-be best.
Lead with inspiration. Focus on doing what you love for the betterment of others (and in return, you will reap rewards yourself-that’s the way this amazing universe works), rather than short-sighted gains of trying to get ahead.
Live a life focused on fulfillment and we WILL ALL benefit.
Taken from “Maybe You Should Talk To Someone” by Lori Gottlieb
The other day, I was driving with my son. It had been one of those days where I was lost in thought, thinking of what I needed to get done before Christmas.
He interrupted my thoughts to point out a house that was wonderfully decorated and lit up with Christmas lights.
It was an amazing sight. (Well, maybe not as amazing as our very own Christmas Llama on our front lawn, but still…)
The point is, our world at any given moment is what we choose to observe.
Our world is made up of what we bring with us.
If we are negative because of a crappy morning, the world is going to be dulled, less beautiful.
If we are in a soaring mood, we will notice the beauty all around.
The good news is we can choose what we bring with us.
We can decide to imbibe all the craziness that is social media, relish in nasty comments.
We can decide to fume over some slight that happened to us yesterday.
We can decide to listen to music that only makes us cry more.
We can decide to switch the playlist and listen to joy.
We can read beautiful poetry.
We can fuel our souls with good food, good company and positivity.
We can decide how beautiful our world will be today by bringing whatever amount of beauty we want with us on today’s journey.
Your life is determined by which lens you choose to peer through.
Obstacles are a constant.
This year, you’ve probably had to navigate a course filled with them.
Number 1: realize that you’ve passed the test so far, you are still here 🙂
Number 2: look at every obstacle as an opportunity, because that is what an obstacle truly is: an opportunity for change/growth/different thinking/discomfort/improvement.
We can look at the obstacles placed in front of us and bemoan them to our (pessimist) heart’s content…
Or we can change our view point, switch out our lens and see the opportunities that lie hidden within.
In fact, I wrote a whole chapter about this in my book (I will share it below).
So many times we (myself included) use perfectionism as an excuse to not step forward, to not attempt, to not complete.
It is rather convenient that we want things to be “perfect” so we don’t finish, or even start.
We need to stop lying to ourselves (and indeed the world)…
Start, step, finish whatever you are holding off on (until its perfect), because I hate to break it to you, but “PERFECT” is impossible.
Have an awesome Thursday!
-Dr. Lindeman
P.S. Here is the chapter from my book:
Perfekshun
“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”-Michael J Fox
The desire for the perfect opportunity has most assuredly destroyed more amazing discoveries than any plague in history. Just think about all the amazing ideas that people have, the songs or art they want to create, but they wait until the ideal opportunity to begin or to release their creativity. That “perfect” opportunity may never come along and so all these amazing ideas and creations never even make it off the starting blocks.
Ever heard the story of the invention of the Post-it note? In 1968 Spencer Silver, and employee at the 3M company, was trying to create a super strong adhesives to aid in building planes. Instead, he accidentally created a very weak adhesive. Rather than give up on the “failed” product, Silver kept sharing it with other employees. It wasn’t until 1973 when the product found a use. Art Fry, a chemical engineer and member of a church choir in St. Paul, Minnesota approached Silver about his adhesive. He needed something to keep his song page markers stick in his hymn book. They realized they could put the glue on a piece of paper and stick it to anything-and the Post-It Note was created. Even more amazing, the company didn’t think it would be very popular so they shelved it until 1977. The product was a flop at first, but they reintroduced it with more gusto and has since become one of the top five best selling office supply products ever made. All because Mr. Silver’s imperfect accident (11).
In my life, I have struggled with perfectionism. It took me quite a while (years in fact) to sit down and write this book. Thoughts in my head swirled around about having to be the perfect time, or I had to wait until I have some monumentally impactful success that the world as a whole knew about. I needed the perfect theme, the perfect audience, the perfect voice. I held myself back under the guise of perfection. The funny thing was, I have been writing my entire life. I had a 400 some odd (typed) page journal (it wasn’t a diary thank you very much) in high school. I took creative writing classes whenever I could. My first major in college was Journalism (until I found I couldn’t be as creative in my writing in those classes as I truly wanted to be). I’ve always had some sort of notebook to jot things down in. I just didn’t share my writing with too many people, unless the “perfect” phrase or sentence popped into my head. I was afraid. Perfectionism was my mask.
Obviously, I’ve gotten over that somewhat, or you wouldn’t be reading this now. The more I learned about self-improvement and success, the more I realized that no one could ever be perfect. This book isn’t perfect by any stretch. But, I realized that if I truly want to share myself with the world, if I want to try to help others, one of the best ways is to be vulnerable and not hide my imperfections. I realized that the mask of perfectionism I was hiding behind was actually just smothering. The lofty mantle of perfectionism that I held onto needed to crumble.
Perfectionism has been looked at as a positive trait over the past few generations. I’m sure in some ways, you admire the people that you give the label “Perfectionist” to, they seem like lofty individuals. They are motivated, passionate, courageous and meticulous. Perfectionists are meticulous, they are successful and they are idols, or so you think. The problem is “perfectionism” is not the same as “strong work-ethic.” There is a HUGE difference between the two.
A strong work ethic is truly admirable. It is marvelous to strive for excellence or mastery and that cannot be accomplished without a strong work ethic. A strong work ethic enables people to get things done, to improve their craft and to help others in the process. Perfection on the other hand screams of selfishness. Perfection is never good enough. Nothing in the world is truly perfect. And honestly, the entire world is based upon our perception of it. Something that you deem as “perfect” is probably garbage to someone else. (If you need proof, remember someone thought Gangnam Style was the perfect song when it was released).
Perfectionism is an absolute lie. Many times you may wait until you think things are “perfect” before you take a chance. You hide behind the veil of perfection and ostensibly sit in a corner and suck your thumbs because you are too afraid to take that first step. You may chastise yourself for not being perfect, which then allows you to stay down, to bury your light and hide your gifts and ultimately stay exactly where you are. Perfectionism is actually rooted in shame and fear. You hold onto an idea or creation until it is “perfect”- when in actuality the motive for doing so is you are afraid others might see its flaws, and therefore will see your flaws. After-all it’s so much easier to hide behind trying to be perfect than to actually just TRY. To truly “strive for perfection” just opens the door to lying down, taking a long nap and just giving up all together. If you truly know, as I am sure you do, that perfect is impossible, how hard is it to nix “giving it our all” if you know it won’t be perfect? Many times you opt to never start in the first place?
I completely believe that having HUGE goals is necessary in order to allow our inspiration to flourish, to succeed and to make an impact on the world. Strive for excellence and keep stretching how excellent you can be. However, attempting perfection is nothing but an artificial pursuit. In all your endeavors do the best you possibly can, and you will notice that “best” grows and grows and grows. Excellence, success, positivity, all of these things can expand and improve. The true meaning of perfection calls to mind a cold, immovable, solid…end. And truly, if you are following your passions, you don’t want them to end. You don’t want a truly finished product. You want creativity and happiness and purpose to allow continual refinement. One of the most amazing things about being human is the ability to re-imagine, amend, build on and enhance things constantly. You will never be “out of stock” in your ability to build amazing things, share new thoughts or create beautiful art.
But what if someone actually created THE PERFECT cup of coffee, or THE PERFECT book, THE PERFECT anything? You can’t improve upon perfect. If you ever connected to yourself so wholeheartedly that next Tuesday, you found your purpose, and you found a way to deliver it perfectly… what would you do the following Tuesday? (I say ‘the following Tuesday’ because I’m assuming you have some amazing parties for the next 6 days following your discovery). The next logical step would be to give up. Once perfection is truly attained, would it not simply become boring? And that is not what you are here to do. So in reality, when you say you are perfectionists, you really are giving up at the beginning, or you are destined to give up once the project is finished. Neither sound very admirable in that light.
“Striving for perfection” is an exercise in futility. Your purpose is not futile. Don’t hold yourself back by trying to be perfect. Don’t be so delusional to think that whatever you create will be perfect. Hopefully you are in-tune with your passion, and you combine that with inspiration and truly produce excellence, in fact I have no doubt that is what you will do, but the beauty of excellence is you can continue to excel. So go for growth, go for beauty, go for inspiration and as Michael J Fox said, keep perfection in the hands of God.
The primary determining factor of your future, however, is how YOU RESPOND to what happens.
Your response (choice) in any situation (and there are ALWAYS multiple choices) will determine the brightness of your future for you, your loved ones and the world at large.
Dissemination of Inspiration 