Small steps

How I started using baby steps to bring about positive change in my life | by Adam Kruger | Ascent Publication

“Small steps may appear unimpressive, but don’t be deceived. They are the means by which perspectives are subtly altered, mountains are gradually scaled, and lives are drastically changed.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich, Making Wishes: Quotes, Thoughts, & a Little Poetry for Every Day of the Year

I think that many times, when we look at where we want to go in our lives, we can become discouraged at the GAP between here and there.

We make the HUGE mistake of focusing on the end result, way out in the distance (and many times, that “finish line” continues to move further away as our aspirations change as well) instead of realizing the only way we will get there is to put one foot in front of the other in that general direction.

I use the word general on purpose, because I also believe we make the mistake of thinking from here to there will be a straight line…

It is never a straight line…

So today, do two major (minor) things:

Take a baby step in the general direction of where you want to go, and who you want to be.
Realize you may veer a bit right or left, up or down toward the horizon

Do both of these things, and then when you lay your head down tonight, know you have succeeded this Wednesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

The Power of Positive Summit

So, if you’ve read anything I’ve ever written, you probably know I’m a believer in finding the positive, and that positivity is a choice.

That’s why I LOVE what Jon Gordon and his team put together once a year.

Check it out here: https://www.powerofpositivesummit.com

There are a lot of bite-sized inspirational talks, given by people from all walks of life (coaches, speakers, charity founders, teachers) and they are wonderful.

Some of my favorite quotes so far:

“You don’t choose your negative thoughts but you can choose not to listen to them”-Jay Glazer

“The best way to win the day is to win the moment. Moments turn into days, days into weeks and weeks into years.”-Doshia Woods

“Unshakeable confidence isn’t about the results. It’s about self awareness.”-David Nurse

“It’s not always the path of least resistance that gets you where you want to go, it’s the path that’s worth taking”-Sam Acho

“When we focus on honoring others as our mission in life, differences fade. Prejudice becomes a foreign concept.”- Miles McPherson

There are a LOT more. You should definitely check it out.

You most likely will find something there to help fuel you daily, and I guarantee it will make your Tuesday a little happier!

-Dr Lindeman

Your light, not someone else’s

Too often we can find ourselves comparing our lives, our successes, our failures to the lives/successes/failures of others.

We can and should find inspiration/motivation from others, but we CANNOT and SHOULD NOT define ourselves that way.

Our lives are our own.

Your light is your own and it is very different from the light of every single other human being on this planet.

The only “people” we should compare ourselves to is who we were yesterday, and who we want to be tomorrow.

Don’t compare your light, SHARE your light!

Happy Thursday!

-Dr. Lindeman

Toxic positivity

I recently discovered the term “toxic positivity.”

Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. It’s a “good vibes only” approach. (Taken from http://www.verywellmind.com)

I choose to be positive, and I write about positivity not because I see the world through rose-colored glasses, but because I decide to realize the world is a beautiful place.

I whole-heartedly believe that when circumstances are awful, we should recognize that, allow ourselves to grieve, mourn, cry, get frustrated, angry and lash out some even.

It is always ok to not be ok.

However, I also believe that it is up to ourselves to change our situation for the future. It is up to us to learn from any challenge and apply it toward a growth mindset.

The only way positivity can be toxic is in the absence of empathy. If someone (even if it is yourself) is going through some horrible situations, I don’t believe we should talk to them (ourselves) about maintaining positivity without acknowledging THE SUCK of the situation. First and foremost, be kind, listen, hug, comfort.

Also realize that part of the comfort is the belief/faith that all things pass and life will move on and in fact can become better, eventually.

Have a blessed Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Everything around you…

“That’s what alchemists do. They show that, when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”-Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

TRUTH!

When we strive to improve ourselves, the AMAZING “side effect” is that we will improve those around us as well.

When you shine your light, you brighten everyone else’s day.

Don’t make the (all to common) mistake of thinking that moving toward your goals, your successes, somehow lessens those around us. That is a HUGE falsehood, and unfortunately, stifles so many people from achieving their goals.

Abundance is not limited.

If you are working toward improvement, and you do so with compassion, love, grit and not by stepping on those around you, you will help, not hinder others. On that note: If you achieve any success by pushing others down so that you may gain ground, that success will most definitely be short lived and shallow. (Most people do not fall into this category. I truly believe most people want to improve their lives, and not hurt others in the process).

So, today, work toward achievement, and take comfort in the FACT, your success only HELPS those around you.

Happy Thursday!

-Dr. Lindeman

“Maybe Happiness is Sometimes.”

I just finished the book, “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” by Lori Gottlieb. It is a great book!

I loved the statement one of her patients made to her “Maybe happiness is sometimes.”

Too often, we humans think in absolutes and extremes.

I am happy or I am sad.

I am “all in” or I am doing nothing.

I am successful or I am a failure.

Life doesn’t work that way.

In fact:

————————————-The spectrum between extremes is long and beautiful—————————–

I believe that when we focus on the extremes, it gives us a reason to gravitate toward one end of that spectrum, and more often than not, it’s the side we want to be on.

The truth is, life is full of ups and downs, big wins, small failures, big failures, tiny victories, extreme jubilation, crippling depression, laughing out loud’s, chuckling very quietly’s, overwhelming fear, extreme confidence… and everything in between.

When we give too much power to the extremes in life, it renders our true existence powerless.

We need to realize that life is a conglomerate. And it is ok to be happy or victorious or depressed or successful SOMETIMES.

We can even substitute “sometimes” for “most times” on many of these things (and if we looked at our lives, we probably would realize we gravitate more toward the positive side than the negative) and that is truly O.K.

In fact, that is why we are alive.

So, today, try not to focus on extremes. Realize that being somewhere along the scale is where we are supposed to be that moment, and that we can tip the scales in the direction we choose.

We don’t have to be successful or happy all the time (in fact, if that is our goal, we are doomed for failure).

Realize, life is a journey and no matter where we are right now, we can choose to get back on the ride and enjoy ALL OF IT.

Have a wonderful Wendesday!

-Dr.Lindeman

The great divide

The divide is real.

One huge thing I dislike about elections (especially this one) is the way they tend to AMPLIFY our differences and erode our common ground.

I truly believe we should all support who we want to support.

We should back ballot measures that align with our personal philosophies for our lives, our families, our communities and our futures.

What I dislike is the way that people can stand on their “side of the voting line” and cut off the other side completely.

We are entitled to our views and we are allowed to express those views.

It is disheartening that those views can break friendships, end conversations and erode our peace.

No matter where you put your stake into the ground on the issues, realize we all share that ground, even if where I plant my stake is far removed from where you plant yours.

I am hopeful, that regardless of the voting results, we can start focusing on the commonalities we all share and work toward lessening the divide between humanity rather than increasing it.

Regardless,

I hope you have a wonderful day today (as well as the vast majority of days moving forward 🙂

Happy Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

“It’s what we know that ain’t so”

“It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.”-Will Rodgers

It always amazes me that the biggest to key to growth in any area, is more about eliminating other things/feelings/emotions/actions in order to create space for new branches to emerge.

In order to truly learn, we must first unlearn.

Unlearn: to forget and stop doing (something, such as a habit) in a deliberate way because it is false or incorrect (Source: Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary).

If you can think of an area that you desire growth in, a “garden” you want to cultivate. The first piece of advice: explore your current landscape and find weeds that you need to pull to create space for what you truly want to thrive.

If you truly want to grow, to succeed to become a better version of who you are today, you need to be able to search for ways to eliminate in order to create a vacuum. You need to first figure out what could be holding you back. You need to look into barriers that you may have (intentionally/unintentionally) built that have kept you right where you currently are. These thoughts/feelings/activities may have served you well up to this point, but you may need to eliminate them now in order to create space in order for brighter/better things to grow.

Look for these weeds/anchors that limit your potential and get busy tending to your garden.

At any given moment (like right now!), you can start your re-education process. You may not be able to fully pull the weeds out with one tug, but by working on these weeds day by day, you will create room for new beliefs to grow.

You get to decide what to plant there. You are good enough. You are exactly the person for the complicated job of being you. You are whole. You are the only you there is, and it’s time to stop hiding.

The weeds have taken over for far too long.

Unlearn.

Your mind is your garden. Start cultivating.

Happy Monday friends!

-Dr. Lindeman

Cultivate the garden in your mind to create a beautiful landscape in the future

Have to? Or GET TO?

Jon Gordon has discussed this topic quite a few times on stage and in his books.

How many times do you think (especially on Monday’s) about what you “have to” do today?

“I have to go to work.”

“I have to take out the trash.”

“I have to pay that bill.”

“I have to unsubscribe from the free paper towels Monday email service. I still have no idea how they got my email…”

If you took the time and wrote out all the times you think about what you “have to” do, the list would be staggering.

If we could reframe those thoughts into “get to”, just replace one word, our world seems brighter.

You see, there are thousands of people who would love to GET TO do what you HAVE TI DO.

You have to go to work? Tons of people are out of jobs right now.

You have to take out the trash? A lot of people are homeless and don’t have a trash can to take out.

You have to unsubscribe from stupid junk emails? The world is full of people who don’t even own a computer.

And from another angle, everything we think we have to do, actually helps us somehow in our own lives.

So today, each time you think of something you have to do, spend twice the time thinking of how blessed you are to get to do it, and how whatever it is will actually help you in the long run.

Get to it this Monday 🙂

-Dr Lindeman