He is an excellent speaker and author and an all around wonderful human being.
I received this in his daily email service today:
“A star wants to see themselves rise to the top. A leader wants to see those around them become stars.”-Simon Sinek
What a simple but powerful message.
If we want to succeed for our benefit we may become stars.
And we may burn bright, for a time, only to burn out just as fast.
But if our motivation is to help lift others up, to inspire, to create positive change within others (which will also do the same for us, it’s kind of a law), then the light we help create will burn sooooo much brighter and for soooo much longer.
In fact, I wrote a whole chapter about this in my book (I will share it below).
So many times we (myself included) use perfectionism as an excuse to not step forward, to not attempt, to not complete.
It is rather convenient that we want things to be “perfect” so we don’t finish, or even start.
We need to stop lying to ourselves (and indeed the world)…
Start, step, finish whatever you are holding off on (until its perfect), because I hate to break it to you, but “PERFECT” is impossible.
Have an awesome Thursday!
-Dr. Lindeman
P.S. Here is the chapter from my book:
Perfekshun
“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”-Michael J Fox
The desire for the perfect opportunity has most assuredly destroyed more amazing discoveries than any plague in history. Just think about all the amazing ideas that people have, the songs or art they want to create, but they wait until the ideal opportunity to begin or to release their creativity. That “perfect” opportunity may never come along and so all these amazing ideas and creations never even make it off the starting blocks.
Ever heard the story of the invention of the Post-it note? In 1968 Spencer Silver, and employee at the 3M company, was trying to create a super strong adhesives to aid in building planes. Instead, he accidentally created a very weak adhesive. Rather than give up on the “failed” product, Silver kept sharing it with other employees. It wasn’t until 1973 when the product found a use. Art Fry, a chemical engineer and member of a church choir in St. Paul, Minnesota approached Silver about his adhesive. He needed something to keep his song page markers stick in his hymn book. They realized they could put the glue on a piece of paper and stick it to anything-and the Post-It Note was created. Even more amazing, the company didn’t think it would be very popular so they shelved it until 1977. The product was a flop at first, but they reintroduced it with more gusto and has since become one of the top five best selling office supply products ever made. All because Mr. Silver’s imperfect accident (11).
In my life, I have struggled with perfectionism. It took me quite a while (years in fact) to sit down and write this book. Thoughts in my head swirled around about having to be the perfect time, or I had to wait until I have some monumentally impactful success that the world as a whole knew about. I needed the perfect theme, the perfect audience, the perfect voice. I held myself back under the guise of perfection. The funny thing was, I have been writing my entire life. I had a 400 some odd (typed) page journal (it wasn’t a diary thank you very much) in high school. I took creative writing classes whenever I could. My first major in college was Journalism (until I found I couldn’t be as creative in my writing in those classes as I truly wanted to be). I’ve always had some sort of notebook to jot things down in. I just didn’t share my writing with too many people, unless the “perfect” phrase or sentence popped into my head. I was afraid. Perfectionism was my mask.
Obviously, I’ve gotten over that somewhat, or you wouldn’t be reading this now. The more I learned about self-improvement and success, the more I realized that no one could ever be perfect. This book isn’t perfect by any stretch. But, I realized that if I truly want to share myself with the world, if I want to try to help others, one of the best ways is to be vulnerable and not hide my imperfections. I realized that the mask of perfectionism I was hiding behind was actually just smothering. The lofty mantle of perfectionism that I held onto needed to crumble.
Perfectionism has been looked at as a positive trait over the past few generations. I’m sure in some ways, you admire the people that you give the label “Perfectionist” to, they seem like lofty individuals. They are motivated, passionate, courageous and meticulous. Perfectionists are meticulous, they are successful and they are idols, or so you think. The problem is “perfectionism” is not the same as “strong work-ethic.” There is a HUGE difference between the two.
A strong work ethic is truly admirable. It is marvelous to strive for excellence or mastery and that cannot be accomplished without a strong work ethic. A strong work ethic enables people to get things done, to improve their craft and to help others in the process. Perfection on the other hand screams of selfishness. Perfection is never good enough. Nothing in the world is truly perfect. And honestly, the entire world is based upon our perception of it. Something that you deem as “perfect” is probably garbage to someone else. (If you need proof, remember someone thought Gangnam Style was the perfect song when it was released).
Perfectionism is an absolute lie. Many times you may wait until you think things are “perfect” before you take a chance. You hide behind the veil of perfection and ostensibly sit in a corner and suck your thumbs because you are too afraid to take that first step. You may chastise yourself for not being perfect, which then allows you to stay down, to bury your light and hide your gifts and ultimately stay exactly where you are. Perfectionism is actually rooted in shame and fear. You hold onto an idea or creation until it is “perfect”- when in actuality the motive for doing so is you are afraid others might see its flaws, and therefore will see your flaws. After-all it’s so much easier to hide behind trying to be perfect than to actually just TRY. To truly “strive for perfection” just opens the door to lying down, taking a long nap and just giving up all together. If you truly know, as I am sure you do, that perfect is impossible, how hard is it to nix “giving it our all” if you know it won’t be perfect? Many times you opt to never start in the first place?
I completely believe that having HUGE goals is necessary in order to allow our inspiration to flourish, to succeed and to make an impact on the world. Strive for excellence and keep stretching how excellent you can be. However, attempting perfection is nothing but an artificial pursuit. In all your endeavors do the best you possibly can, and you will notice that “best” grows and grows and grows. Excellence, success, positivity, all of these things can expand and improve. The true meaning of perfection calls to mind a cold, immovable, solid…end. And truly, if you are following your passions, you don’t want them to end. You don’t want a truly finished product. You want creativity and happiness and purpose to allow continual refinement. One of the most amazing things about being human is the ability to re-imagine, amend, build on and enhance things constantly. You will never be “out of stock” in your ability to build amazing things, share new thoughts or create beautiful art.
But what if someone actually created THE PERFECT cup of coffee, or THE PERFECT book, THE PERFECT anything? You can’t improve upon perfect. If you ever connected to yourself so wholeheartedly that next Tuesday, you found your purpose, and you found a way to deliver it perfectly… what would you do the following Tuesday? (I say ‘the following Tuesday’ because I’m assuming you have some amazing parties for the next 6 days following your discovery). The next logical step would be to give up. Once perfection is truly attained, would it not simply become boring? And that is not what you are here to do. So in reality, when you say you are perfectionists, you really are giving up at the beginning, or you are destined to give up once the project is finished. Neither sound very admirable in that light.
“Striving for perfection” is an exercise in futility. Your purpose is not futile. Don’t hold yourself back by trying to be perfect. Don’t be so delusional to think that whatever you create will be perfect. Hopefully you are in-tune with your passion, and you combine that with inspiration and truly produce excellence, in fact I have no doubt that is what you will do, but the beauty of excellence is you can continue to excel. So go for growth, go for beauty, go for inspiration and as Michael J Fox said, keep perfection in the hands of God.
My favorite part is: “fear is meant to be conquered. Success is meant to be achieved.”
It reminded me of a line from “The Fire” by The Roots:
“I realized I’m supposed to reach for the skies. Never let somebody try to tell you otherwise”
Sometimes, we stop pursuing our dreams because we may feel we don’t deserve them.
Sometimes we fee there is a limit to the success that we can achieve, sort of like there is a finite amount of success/abundance in the world and we should aim lower because it could be running out.
There is NO limit to success.
If we fall short of our dreams, it doesn’t mean someone else will get that victory all the time.
If someone else is incredibly successful, it doesn’t not impact the ceiling of our success.
There is plenty of abundance to go around and we are SUPPOSED to reach for those skies.
Get busy playing to win, reach for those skies, never let anyone else (or yourself) tell you otherwise.
I just started reading: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb (check it out here ) and I like it so far!
This line is great and bears repeating: “It’s not as if we’re going to peer in those darker corners, flip on the light, and find a bunch of cockroaches. Fireflies love the dark too. There’s beauty in those places. But we have to look in there to see it.”
So true!
I truly wish the stigma of mental health could be washed away.
Especially now, with all the craziness of the pandemic, disconnection, solitude, political and social turmoil…we need others to help keep our lives sane.
We need to talk to somebody.
I have gone to counselors and therapists numerous times.
It’s not because I am “crazy.”
It’s because I finally realized that with my drive to improve my life, my family’s life and to improve the world, sometimes I need different people riding shotgun, helping me navigate through my past, present and future.
Sometimes we need professionals to help guide us through the muck and mire.
And I, for one, am so thankful they are there and I have access to these people.
So please, if you are feeling stressed, depressed, low…know there are truly wonderful people out there that will help you see the fireflies in the darkness.
Don’t ever suffer alone.
The world needs you and holding it al in yourself isn’t helping anyone.
And again, sometimes it’s great to talk to someone just about your big dreams and aspirations and they can help you balance them all so ambition doesn’t drive you wild.
My kids start school today, as does my wife (she’s a teacher).
They are going to be remote learning for at least a month, and although they have had meetings, preparation times, etc, no one really knows what it is going to look, feel and sound like for sure.
Both boys admitted they were nervous this morning, and my wife most certainly is from her end.
It is going to be very interesting this year.
However, with uncertainty comes huge opportunity for growth.
There is no progress without struggle. And there will be struggles.
But, if we can all realize that growth occurs most swiftly during large challenges, we can realize that through this muck and mire, we all will emerge all the better for it.
My heart, thoughts and love go out to all the families, kids, teachers going through this.
We will all get through to a much brighter future!
In our office, we call them B.H.AG.s. Big Hairy Audacious Goals.
We need to dream dreams that take our breath away!
So don’t match your dreams to you current reality, what’s the fun in that?
Dream big.
Then get busy realizing that those goals.
By taking steps (even little ones) in their direction, you give those audacious goals a trim, and the more steps you take, you can see they aren’t so hairy (nor audacious) after all.
Dissemination of Inspiration 