Toxic positivity

I recently discovered the term “toxic positivity.”

Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. It’s a “good vibes only” approach. (Taken from http://www.verywellmind.com)

I choose to be positive, and I write about positivity not because I see the world through rose-colored glasses, but because I decide to realize the world is a beautiful place.

I whole-heartedly believe that when circumstances are awful, we should recognize that, allow ourselves to grieve, mourn, cry, get frustrated, angry and lash out some even.

It is always ok to not be ok.

However, I also believe that it is up to ourselves to change our situation for the future. It is up to us to learn from any challenge and apply it toward a growth mindset.

The only way positivity can be toxic is in the absence of empathy. If someone (even if it is yourself) is going through some horrible situations, I don’t believe we should talk to them (ourselves) about maintaining positivity without acknowledging THE SUCK of the situation. First and foremost, be kind, listen, hug, comfort.

Also realize that part of the comfort is the belief/faith that all things pass and life will move on and in fact can become better, eventually.

Have a blessed Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Fulfillment > Achievement

Thank you for this reminder, Simon Sinek.

The true joy in life comes not from the accolades, finish lines or etc.

True joy is found on the journey toward our goals.

We may not realize it at the time, because putting in the work to get to where we want to go, is hard.

However, without the “struggle”, our achievements would be far less meaningful.

The award you win for completing a 10k would be a glorified paperweight if it was easy to achieve.

Even an Olympic medal would be just another shiny object if winning it was easy.

So, no matter how hard the struggle is now, realize that in the end, this time, this toil and this work you are putting in will truly lead to a more fulfilling life.

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

You cannot be too big to do the small things…

A little tongue-in-cheek but the message rings true.

If you have big dreams and aspire to accomplish a lot, you most definitely need to pay attention to how you do the “little things.”

In fact, the path toward a huge success is over with hundreds/thousands of small steps.

And if you can’t devote attention, drive and passion to the little steps, the big success will always remain just a dream.

Get busy on the little things today 🙂

Happy Monday

-Dr Lindeman

Friendly reminder

You are NEVER given anything you can’t handle.

Proof? You are reading this right now.

You will always presented with obstacles, or as my brother likes to call them “hurdles” in life.

They key is to just keep jumping. (Or in some cases, if that hurdle is meant for a giant, find another way around, under or through)

I truly hope you are not in the middle a huge tumultuous storm in your life right now, but if you are, I also hope you realize you have exactly what it takes to overcome, and to get to the calm on the other side.

You are THE ONLY person capable of living your amazing, exciting and challenging life.

Have an amazing Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

You life is what you carry

Taken from “Maybe You Should Talk To Someone” by Lori Gottlieb

The other day, I was driving with my son. It had been one of those days where I was lost in thought, thinking of what I needed to get done before Christmas.

He interrupted my thoughts to point out a house that was wonderfully decorated and lit up with Christmas lights.

It was an amazing sight. (Well, maybe not as amazing as our very own Christmas Llama on our front lawn, but still…)

The point is, our world at any given moment is what we choose to observe.

Our world is made up of what we bring with us.

If we are negative because of a crappy morning, the world is going to be dulled, less beautiful.

If we are in a soaring mood, we will notice the beauty all around.

The good news is we can choose what we bring with us.

We can decide to imbibe all the craziness that is social media, relish in nasty comments.

We can decide to fume over some slight that happened to us yesterday.

We can decide to listen to music that only makes us cry more.

We can decide to switch the playlist and listen to joy.

We can read beautiful poetry.

We can fuel our souls with good food, good company and positivity.

We can decide how beautiful our world will be today by bringing whatever amount of beauty we want with us on today’s journey.

Have a BEAUTIFUL Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

…Love wins…

“Because at the end of the day, love wins.” (Taken from Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb).

If you’ve had any bad days lately (pretty sure most of us have), the key to not carrying it over to the next day is to realize that one day doesn’t create a month or year or etc.

The key is to resize that after the 24 hours, that day is done.

Over-with.

Kaput.

The sun comes up again in the morning ($100 you are hearing Annie’s voice in your head now, bet your bottom dollar) and you get another chance at another day.

One way to push toward a better mañana is to end the day with love.

Stop and breathe. Be grateful that you had a day (even if it was “a day”), and find something to love about the day. Even if it is something incredibly small.

Then, take some time to tell someone you love them.

Finally, take some time to tell yourself that you are loved.

End the day with love, because the truth is LOVE AWAYS WINS.

Happy Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

The space that allows choice

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms- to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances”- Viktor Frankl, from Man’s Search for Meaning

If you haven’t read the above mentioned book by Viktor Frankl, I highly recommend that you do.

It is a wonderful book. Viktor Frankl was a doctor/psychologist who was also Jewish and because of that second fact, he was placed in a concentration camp by the Nazis. His family was murdered while he was in captivity.

His stance is that a human being’s number one motivation is not to seek pleasure (as Freud and many others postulated), but to seek MEANING.

When we can find meaning in any situation, we will overcome any obstacle.

The good news is almost 100% of the time, if we look hard enough, there is meaning to be found either within the struggle or on the other side of it.

So today, when facing a hurdle, large or small, look for meaning within and you will overcome.

Happy Thursday!

-Dr Lindeman

What do you see??

Your life is determined by which lens you choose to peer through.

Obstacles are a constant.

This year, you’ve probably had to navigate a course filled with them.

Number 1: realize that you’ve passed the test so far, you are still here 🙂

Number 2: look at every obstacle as an opportunity, because that is what an obstacle truly is: an opportunity for change/growth/different thinking/discomfort/improvement.

We can look at the obstacles placed in front of us and bemoan them to our (pessimist) heart’s content…

Or we can change our view point, switch out our lens and see the opportunities that lie hidden within.

Choose your view wisely!

Happy Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

Lasting fulfillment

This is so true!

We have a much bigger IMPACT on the world when we help others.

And (if you’ve read any of my other blog posts you know) when we help others we also have a larger, longer lasting impact on our own happiness as well.

The good news is that we are all in a position that we can help others.

Some of us can donate to charities.

Some of us can help our neighbors by bringing in their mail, taking their leaves, etc if they are unable to do so themselves.

Some of us can go grocery shopping for a friend who is ill.

Some of us can lend a helping hand or even a smile to a stranger.

Some us us can send thank you cards to the people that have helped us in our lives.

No matter the method, we can all help someone and I fact lots of someone’s.

So we can all achieve fulfillment.

Have a fulfilling Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

Never a victim

Just a friendly reminder: we are NEVER victims of circumstance. We are only victims of our decisions/what we do/think/feel in any circumstance.

Life can throw some pretty crazy curveballs at you.

I think a lot of us would agree that 2020 has been one giant spitball/curveball.

The fact remains though, our lives are not created by circumstances, but rather how we CHOOSE to react to those circumstances.

We always have numerous choices in any situation and those decisions are what pave the way to a thriving, vibrant existence (or not).

So today, regardless of what the world has set out in front of you, take some time to notice all your options.

And then choose wisely.

Happy Wednesday!

-Dr Lindeman