“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.” —Bernard M. Baruch
How annoying is it when you are telling someone something, and they keep interrupting?
How annoying is it when people listen to respond, rather than listening to learn?
How often are you that annoying? 🙂
I am guilty of this at times.
Sometimes it is because we are bursting with excitement, eager to contribute to the conversation. That in itself isn’t a bad thing.
The problem arises in that when we listen to respond, we aren’t actually listening at all. Instead we are formulating what we want to say, rather than learning from others. We aren’t opening our minds nor our hearts to them, instead we are solely focused on allowing our brain to flex it’s muscles.
Leading with love is always the best choice.
There is a book I read a while back:Listening is an Act of Love. It’s a great book, and the title is poignant.
When we TRULY listen to others, we open our hearts, souls, minds and our worlds to possibility.
When we TRULY listen, we gain experience and insight that can lead to success (no matter how you define it) in our lives.
So on this glorious Wednesday, take time to LISTEN to others. Or in other words:
I just started reading it last night, but I love it!
Simon talks about the difference between finite games and infinite games in business, and in life.
Finite games are “played” with a goal of winning, beating the competition, becoming “the best.”
In life (and in business), the best things are truly INFINITE.
You don’t truly want to be “the best” at what you do. Because, in reality, you know that being the best is HIGHLY temporary. There will always be new players, new competition, new rules, new advancements, new hurdles, etc.
Take for instance, the NFL. The NFL is most likely switching to a 17 game season as opposed to a 16 game season. Think about how many “bests” will be beaten with one more game. Passing records, rushing records, sack records, etc. all have a HUGE probability to be beaten with the addition of one more game.
Being the best, ends.
Looking at FINITE successes eventually leads to a cold-end game.
Instead, as Mr. Sinek proposes, focus on infinite successes. Fulfillment > Victory.
Focus on fulfillment for you, your family, your friends, your community, and for future generations and you will lead a much happier life, and your “victories” will go on in the future, rather than being the used-to-be best.
Lead with inspiration. Focus on doing what you love for the betterment of others (and in return, you will reap rewards yourself-that’s the way this amazing universe works), rather than short-sighted gains of trying to get ahead.
Live a life focused on fulfillment and we WILL ALL benefit.
I recently discovered the term “toxic positivity.”
Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. It’s a “good vibes only” approach. (Taken from http://www.verywellmind.com)
I choose to be positive, and I write about positivity not because I see the world through rose-colored glasses, but because I decide to realize the world is a beautiful place.
I whole-heartedly believe that when circumstances are awful, we should recognize that, allow ourselves to grieve, mourn, cry, get frustrated, angry and lash out some even.
It is always ok to not be ok.
However, I also believe that it is up to ourselves to change our situation for the future. It is up to us to learn from any challenge and apply it toward a growth mindset.
The only way positivity can be toxic is in the absence of empathy. If someone (even if it is yourself) is going through some horrible situations, I don’t believe we should talk to them (ourselves) about maintaining positivity without acknowledging THE SUCK of the situation. First and foremost, be kind, listen, hug, comfort.
Also realize that part of the comfort is the belief/faith that all things pass and life will move on and in fact can become better, eventually.
“Because, once we have overcome the defeats-and we always do-we are filled by a greater sense of euphoria and confidence. In the silence of our hearts, we know that we are proving ourselves worthy of the miracle of life.”-Paulo Coelho, Rio de janeiro, Novemebr 2002 (from the forward in The Alchemist)
I love this book!
I have read it a few times already and am re-reading again.
Such a simple, but moving story about following your soul’s purpose, especially when you aren’t even sure exactly what that purpose is. As long as you are doing things in life that light you up a bit, that make you feel antsy inside but also warmth, you are on the right track.
The key is to do something, anything that lights you up a bit inside. Follow the “omens” as Paulo describes them, and you will find happiness, in fact you will CREATE happiness, in your life.
I highly recommend this brief read (multiple times).
Their music always seems as if it comes directly from their souls.
Many songs are uplifting, and all of them seem to tug at heart strings (at least a little bit).
One song I have recently discovered is “Better Man.”
I love this stanza:
“Oh my hands to serve and love My eyes to see and not to judge My spirit now to rise within And reign over my carnal skin“
As a chiropractor, any song that alludes to my hands serving already has me listening, but this stanza to me could be a meditation phrase, or a prayer for life.
And the chorus:
“And oh I just want to be a better man And oh I just want to be a better man, yeah And oh I just want to be a better man And oh I just want to be a better man As I go“
The chorus is pretty great too! I like to change the last line though from “As I go” to “As I GROW.” (I don’t think Judah nor his lion would mind me singing that to myself in my car).
As a business owner, especially as a chiropractor, I can tend to think of growth in #s, volume, etc. But this song reminds me that the true GROWTH I am looking for is growth from within. I want to grow as a person, father, husband, doctor, friend. I want to improve in all aspects, and the pacing of the song reminds me that growth is not meant to happen RIGHT AWAY.
I truly do want to grow to be a better man, and that growth feels best (and lasts) when it comes from my desire to serve, love, see and not judge, and when all of that combined comes from my spirit. So that is what I am going to work on daily…
It is full of ups and downs (just like life in general).
The key is to realize a “step backwards” isn’t a failure.
It’s necessary.
Diving boards have to dip before you can launch.
You have to fall down in order to get up.
You need to have those bike pedals crack you in the shin every once in a while in order to learn to be a bit more careful with those nasty things.
The point is, you can look at dips any way you want, but the truly successful people realize that the set-backs are actually just ways to change the narrative in order to create a truly successful story.
Don’t let the steps back stop you from dancing to success.
I believe, too often, we (myself included) have a tendency to listen to others in order to respond.
We really should listen to learn.
It is harder than it sounds.
In order to listen to learn, we must be connected, intentionally hearing what others have to say. We must also silence our thoughts as they naturally attempt to formulate a rebuttal or an application to ourselves.
When we truly “lend an ear” to those we are with, we grow in compassion, connection and improve.
Dissemination of Inspiration 