Destination Addiction?

Until I saw this post, I have never heard of the term “destination addiction.”

However, I definitely knew it existed.

So many people “search” for happiness.

We humans tend to think that the next big job, the next big move, the next big date, the next big meal, the next WHATEVAHS will bring us happiness.

We are, essentially, little kids asking our father “When we will get there? (or “Are we there yet?)” Thinking that happiness will arrive “just over the next hill.”

The truth is that we will NEVER arrive at happiness.

We must choose to be happy now, or at least to find slivers of happiness amidst our suffering (if that is our current state).

Nothing brings happiness to us.

We DECIDE to find happiness in the now. Then we can cultivate that seed of happiness and it will continue to grow.

Don’t try to ARRIVE at happiness.

DRIVE with happiness, today!

Happy Tuesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

“Maybe Happiness is Sometimes.”

I just finished the book, “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” by Lori Gottlieb. It is a great book!

I loved the statement one of her patients made to her “Maybe happiness is sometimes.”

Too often, we humans think in absolutes and extremes.

I am happy or I am sad.

I am “all in” or I am doing nothing.

I am successful or I am a failure.

Life doesn’t work that way.

In fact:

————————————-The spectrum between extremes is long and beautiful—————————–

I believe that when we focus on the extremes, it gives us a reason to gravitate toward one end of that spectrum, and more often than not, it’s the side we want to be on.

The truth is, life is full of ups and downs, big wins, small failures, big failures, tiny victories, extreme jubilation, crippling depression, laughing out loud’s, chuckling very quietly’s, overwhelming fear, extreme confidence… and everything in between.

When we give too much power to the extremes in life, it renders our true existence powerless.

We need to realize that life is a conglomerate. And it is ok to be happy or victorious or depressed or successful SOMETIMES.

We can even substitute “sometimes” for “most times” on many of these things (and if we looked at our lives, we probably would realize we gravitate more toward the positive side than the negative) and that is truly O.K.

In fact, that is why we are alive.

So, today, try not to focus on extremes. Realize that being somewhere along the scale is where we are supposed to be that moment, and that we can tip the scales in the direction we choose.

We don’t have to be successful or happy all the time (in fact, if that is our goal, we are doomed for failure).

Realize, life is a journey and no matter where we are right now, we can choose to get back on the ride and enjoy ALL OF IT.

Have a wonderful Wendesday!

-Dr.Lindeman

Fulfillment > Achievement

Thank you for this reminder, Simon Sinek.

The true joy in life comes not from the accolades, finish lines or etc.

True joy is found on the journey toward our goals.

We may not realize it at the time, because putting in the work to get to where we want to go, is hard.

However, without the “struggle”, our achievements would be far less meaningful.

The award you win for completing a 10k would be a glorified paperweight if it was easy to achieve.

Even an Olympic medal would be just another shiny object if winning it was easy.

So, no matter how hard the struggle is now, realize that in the end, this time, this toil and this work you are putting in will truly lead to a more fulfilling life.

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Focused or stressed?

I had the privilege of listening to some amazing speakers tonight on a zoom call (yeah, that’s a thing now, didn’t know if you heard). Dr Cody Elledge spoke to my soul about stress vs focus. And low and behold, sticking to my wife’s computer was the above image.

She is so smart!

At first glance, the words “focused” and stressed are similar.

Even our good pal Webster and his Dictionary state they are synonyms.

However, the difference is that when you are stressed about or over something (or in today’s realities, many things), you tend to be obsessive about the PROBLEM, and not looking or working toward the SOLUTION.

When you are stressed, your body is flooded with negative chemicals. Your heart rate increases, your digestion slows down, your adrenals are taxed, you become fatigued, yet you can’t sleep. Your reproductive system is sluggish, your blood pressure elevates, and your ability to think clearly actually decreases as well.

So you obsess over the problem, make your self LITERALLY sick, and you arrive no closer to the solution.

On the other hand, if instead you are focused, you are actively searching for ways to improve your situation and to escape whatever 💩storm you find yourself in.

When you flip the script from stress to focus, you are finely tuned. Your heart rate may increase, but only at first. When you focus, your brain secretes chemicals that help you achieve a goal, rather than stay put in the endless spiral of stress-worry-stress-worry. When you focus, your cortical thinking improves and you ACHIEVE results.

So stressed and focused are similar , but the end results are MONUMENTALLY different.

So acknowledge the stressors in your life today, but choose what you want to FOCUS on, work toward the solutions, and get busy living your best life!

-Dr Lindeman

LEAD

You may have a “title” that infers leadership.

Manager, Shift-lead, Owner, President, Teacher, etc…

You also may not have such a title.

The title doesn’t make the leader.

Anyone can (and should) lead.

The world sorely needs people to lead with grace, courage, love, empathy, compassion, integrity, inspiration, and by example.

I (like MANY others) would gladly step in to follow people that embody the above virtues.

So, don’t look around for someone to do so.

Don’t wait until some magical title is bestowed upon you.

BE a leader by being your best self.

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

You cannot be too big to do the small things…

A little tongue-in-cheek but the message rings true.

If you have big dreams and aspire to accomplish a lot, you most definitely need to pay attention to how you do the “little things.”

In fact, the path toward a huge success is over with hundreds/thousands of small steps.

And if you can’t devote attention, drive and passion to the little steps, the big success will always remain just a dream.

Get busy on the little things today 🙂

Happy Monday

-Dr Lindeman

Break those chains

“The chains of habit are too light to be felt, until they are too heavy to be broken.”🤔
Warren Buffet

We cannot grow into whom we want to be until we break some habits/anchors keeping us right where we are.

Break old habits, create new wonderful ones.

Examine your day today and find 1 or more habits that you know are keeping you down. Think of habits you would like to employ and create a vacuum to fill with those habits by cutting ties with the old ones.

-Happy Habit Hunting Thursday!

Dr Lindeman