My family and I had a wonderful trip to Hilton Head Island, SC this summer. We purchased a townhome/villa/condo (whatever your flavor of terminology is 🙂 on April 1st and we went out in June. I stayed there for 10 days and Sheri and the boys stayed for 3 weeks. (Sheri’s parents came out for a week in there too).

We worked a lot but had a fantastic time!

Being home alone for a couple weeks, I just couldn’t shake this HUGE feeling of nostalgia and sadness for times past.

Also, the realization that Payton is now going to be a Junior in high school, Isaac is beginning freshman year.

Time is FLYING BY!!

Yesterday, we celebrated Independence Day. Isaac spent the night at a friend’s house the night before, so we met the family in Golden (they are great friends of ours as well) and the boys waded into the cold waters of Clear Creek.

After that, we went to another family friend’s barbeque for a bit before heading to the Broomfield Commons and the high schoolers played volleyball while we sat with my brother and sister-in-law.

It was a great day.

The nostalgia ran deep though, beginning early in the morning. Facebook had a “remember when on this date” feature that showed us celebrating July 4th through the years.

Those were just a few.

Needless to say, a few tears were shed (mostly by me).

These past few weeks I have been struck (an apt word actually) right in the feels about how fast time has gone, and continues to move.

I love my life.

I love my family.

I love all the amazing times we have shared throughout these years and yet I cannot help but feel sad that those times are in the past. I know there will always be better and more amazing times ahead, but this week I am REALLY missing times gone by.

I also found myself wondering if that during all these years, have I been the father and husband that these amazing human beings deserve. I found myself doubting. I found myself yearning to hug them a bit tighter.

I want to go back in time and re-experience holding them on my chest when they were babies as we both fall asleep in my recliner. I long to lay with them camping while staring at the stars and listen to their amazement at the vast universe spread out before our eyes. I want to go back to coaching them in youth rec soccer and watch them running around in a herd chasing after that soccer ball. I want to go back to reading to them at night, and make sure I am choosing books and directing conversation that will help me mold them into the truly amazing humans they are and will become.

I also realize all of these yearnings come from MY WANTING more than theirs.

They are wonderful young men and I know the world is a better place due to their presence. I know that as a father, I’ve done pretty well, even if I will always believe I could’ve done better.

After I left Hilton Head, I received an email from Jon Gordon that touched on these feelings. Check out this snippet below:

So, I still am having a serious case of all the nostalgia feels. But these words helped me realize that I have and continually will share these gifts with them from now until the end of time.

I miss the old times. To be honest, I miss everyday I have had with them up until today. And I know one day I will miss today as well.

Those feelings are built into the tremendous love I have for them.

I know that I will continue to have days like this.

I also know that I am looking forward to seeing them after work today. Even if it is after they are done hanging out with their friends.

I love my family fiercely and I know that they love me fiercely back.

Have a wonderful Monday and make sure to spend some time with the ones you love, if only to savor the pain of missing that time when the passage of time doesn’t allow them to be right beside you down the road.

-Dr. Lindeman