Thank you to my amazing Office Manager, Jessica for sharing this one with us in our morning meeting.
Too often we (myself included) focus on our “success.”
We want to achieve, to hit big goals, to overcome setbacks.
That is all perfectly fine, but what matters most is what we leave behind.
“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” ― Shannon Alder
When we leave this Earth (and believe me, none of us are getting out of here alive :), we will not be remembered for our accolades but instead for the impact we leave on others.
A bonus to all of this, is that when you seek to help others feel good, to be kind, to be caring, to be friendly, to lend a helping hand, you in turn feel better as well (exponentially in fact).
So strive to reach your goals, most definitely.
But along the way, focus more on the people who’s lives you get to touch, that impact may be much more profound than you think!
“It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.”-Will Rodgers
It always amazes me that the biggest to key to growth in any area, is more about eliminating other things/feelings/emotions/actions in order to create space for new branches to emerge.
In order to truly learn, we must first unlearn.
Unlearn: to forget and stop doing (something, such as a habit) in a deliberate way because it is false or incorrect (Source: Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary).
If you can think of an area that you desire growth in, a “garden” you want to cultivate. The first piece of advice: explore your current landscape and find weeds that you need to pull to create space for what you truly want to thrive.
If you truly want to grow, to succeed to become a better version of who you are today, you need to be able to search for ways to eliminate in order to create a vacuum. You need to first figure out what could be holding you back. You need to look into barriers that you may have (intentionally/unintentionally) built that have kept you right where you currently are. These thoughts/feelings/activities may have served you well up to this point, but you may need to eliminate them now in order to create space in order for brighter/better things to grow.
Look for these weeds/anchors that limit your potential and get busy tending to your garden.
At any given moment (like right now!), you can start your re-education process. You may not be able to fully pull the weeds out with one tug, but by working on these weeds day by day, you will create room for new beliefs to grow.
You get to decide what to plant there. You are good enough. You are exactly the person for the complicated job of being you. You are whole. You are the only you there is, and it’s time to stop hiding.
The weeds have taken over for far too long.
Unlearn.
Your mind is your garden. Start cultivating.
Happy Monday friends!
-Dr. Lindeman
Cultivate the garden in your mind to create a beautiful landscape in the future
He is an excellent speaker and author and an all around wonderful human being.
I received this in his daily email service today:
“A star wants to see themselves rise to the top. A leader wants to see those around them become stars.”-Simon Sinek
What a simple but powerful message.
If we want to succeed for our benefit we may become stars.
And we may burn bright, for a time, only to burn out just as fast.
But if our motivation is to help lift others up, to inspire, to create positive change within others (which will also do the same for us, it’s kind of a law), then the light we help create will burn sooooo much brighter and for soooo much longer.
In fact, I wrote a whole chapter about this in my book (I will share it below).
So many times we (myself included) use perfectionism as an excuse to not step forward, to not attempt, to not complete.
It is rather convenient that we want things to be “perfect” so we don’t finish, or even start.
We need to stop lying to ourselves (and indeed the world)…
Start, step, finish whatever you are holding off on (until its perfect), because I hate to break it to you, but “PERFECT” is impossible.
Have an awesome Thursday!
-Dr. Lindeman
P.S. Here is the chapter from my book:
Perfekshun
“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”-Michael J Fox
The desire for the perfect opportunity has most assuredly destroyed more amazing discoveries than any plague in history. Just think about all the amazing ideas that people have, the songs or art they want to create, but they wait until the ideal opportunity to begin or to release their creativity. That “perfect” opportunity may never come along and so all these amazing ideas and creations never even make it off the starting blocks.
Ever heard the story of the invention of the Post-it note? In 1968 Spencer Silver, and employee at the 3M company, was trying to create a super strong adhesives to aid in building planes. Instead, he accidentally created a very weak adhesive. Rather than give up on the “failed” product, Silver kept sharing it with other employees. It wasn’t until 1973 when the product found a use. Art Fry, a chemical engineer and member of a church choir in St. Paul, Minnesota approached Silver about his adhesive. He needed something to keep his song page markers stick in his hymn book. They realized they could put the glue on a piece of paper and stick it to anything-and the Post-It Note was created. Even more amazing, the company didn’t think it would be very popular so they shelved it until 1977. The product was a flop at first, but they reintroduced it with more gusto and has since become one of the top five best selling office supply products ever made. All because Mr. Silver’s imperfect accident (11).
In my life, I have struggled with perfectionism. It took me quite a while (years in fact) to sit down and write this book. Thoughts in my head swirled around about having to be the perfect time, or I had to wait until I have some monumentally impactful success that the world as a whole knew about. I needed the perfect theme, the perfect audience, the perfect voice. I held myself back under the guise of perfection. The funny thing was, I have been writing my entire life. I had a 400 some odd (typed) page journal (it wasn’t a diary thank you very much) in high school. I took creative writing classes whenever I could. My first major in college was Journalism (until I found I couldn’t be as creative in my writing in those classes as I truly wanted to be). I’ve always had some sort of notebook to jot things down in. I just didn’t share my writing with too many people, unless the “perfect” phrase or sentence popped into my head. I was afraid. Perfectionism was my mask.
Obviously, I’ve gotten over that somewhat, or you wouldn’t be reading this now. The more I learned about self-improvement and success, the more I realized that no one could ever be perfect. This book isn’t perfect by any stretch. But, I realized that if I truly want to share myself with the world, if I want to try to help others, one of the best ways is to be vulnerable and not hide my imperfections. I realized that the mask of perfectionism I was hiding behind was actually just smothering. The lofty mantle of perfectionism that I held onto needed to crumble.
Perfectionism has been looked at as a positive trait over the past few generations. I’m sure in some ways, you admire the people that you give the label “Perfectionist” to, they seem like lofty individuals. They are motivated, passionate, courageous and meticulous. Perfectionists are meticulous, they are successful and they are idols, or so you think. The problem is “perfectionism” is not the same as “strong work-ethic.” There is a HUGE difference between the two.
A strong work ethic is truly admirable. It is marvelous to strive for excellence or mastery and that cannot be accomplished without a strong work ethic. A strong work ethic enables people to get things done, to improve their craft and to help others in the process. Perfection on the other hand screams of selfishness. Perfection is never good enough. Nothing in the world is truly perfect. And honestly, the entire world is based upon our perception of it. Something that you deem as “perfect” is probably garbage to someone else. (If you need proof, remember someone thought Gangnam Style was the perfect song when it was released).
Perfectionism is an absolute lie. Many times you may wait until you think things are “perfect” before you take a chance. You hide behind the veil of perfection and ostensibly sit in a corner and suck your thumbs because you are too afraid to take that first step. You may chastise yourself for not being perfect, which then allows you to stay down, to bury your light and hide your gifts and ultimately stay exactly where you are. Perfectionism is actually rooted in shame and fear. You hold onto an idea or creation until it is “perfect”- when in actuality the motive for doing so is you are afraid others might see its flaws, and therefore will see your flaws. After-all it’s so much easier to hide behind trying to be perfect than to actually just TRY. To truly “strive for perfection” just opens the door to lying down, taking a long nap and just giving up all together. If you truly know, as I am sure you do, that perfect is impossible, how hard is it to nix “giving it our all” if you know it won’t be perfect? Many times you opt to never start in the first place?
I completely believe that having HUGE goals is necessary in order to allow our inspiration to flourish, to succeed and to make an impact on the world. Strive for excellence and keep stretching how excellent you can be. However, attempting perfection is nothing but an artificial pursuit. In all your endeavors do the best you possibly can, and you will notice that “best” grows and grows and grows. Excellence, success, positivity, all of these things can expand and improve. The true meaning of perfection calls to mind a cold, immovable, solid…end. And truly, if you are following your passions, you don’t want them to end. You don’t want a truly finished product. You want creativity and happiness and purpose to allow continual refinement. One of the most amazing things about being human is the ability to re-imagine, amend, build on and enhance things constantly. You will never be “out of stock” in your ability to build amazing things, share new thoughts or create beautiful art.
But what if someone actually created THE PERFECT cup of coffee, or THE PERFECT book, THE PERFECT anything? You can’t improve upon perfect. If you ever connected to yourself so wholeheartedly that next Tuesday, you found your purpose, and you found a way to deliver it perfectly… what would you do the following Tuesday? (I say ‘the following Tuesday’ because I’m assuming you have some amazing parties for the next 6 days following your discovery). The next logical step would be to give up. Once perfection is truly attained, would it not simply become boring? And that is not what you are here to do. So in reality, when you say you are perfectionists, you really are giving up at the beginning, or you are destined to give up once the project is finished. Neither sound very admirable in that light.
“Striving for perfection” is an exercise in futility. Your purpose is not futile. Don’t hold yourself back by trying to be perfect. Don’t be so delusional to think that whatever you create will be perfect. Hopefully you are in-tune with your passion, and you combine that with inspiration and truly produce excellence, in fact I have no doubt that is what you will do, but the beauty of excellence is you can continue to excel. So go for growth, go for beauty, go for inspiration and as Michael J Fox said, keep perfection in the hands of God.
Dissemination of Inspiration 