Situations will always arise, positive and negative. The situations don’t determine the outcome.
The choices you make, the way you decide to learn from every situation, your mindset ALWAYS determines the outcome, and not just in the short term. The long term effects of any situation are solely determined by what you decide to take from it.
So today, start with a positive mindset.
Be open to learning opportunities (aka struggles).
On the surface, seems like the best thing(s) to focus on. After all, results are the best and easiest things to measure.
However, when you think about it, no matter how hard we try: the results are exactly what we have only partial control over.
There are too many variables in life for us to think we can control them all and therefore can control our results.
Weather changes, tragedies, external stimuli, availability of the things we need, etc can and will throw wrenches in our path toward the results we desire.
Think if it this way: Our input x external stimuli = results
What we can control is the effort to change. We can control our side of the equation. And truth be told, usually if we focus on what we can control, the curveballs life throws at us will become more manageable and allow us to love toward the results we desire.
So today, focus on what you can control, your heart, your effort, your vision and then resize no matter the hurdles (the other factors in the equation), we will move forward.
There are a lot of bite-sized inspirational talks, given by people from all walks of life (coaches, speakers, charity founders, teachers) and they are wonderful.
Some of my favorite quotes so far:
“You don’t choose your negative thoughts but you can choose not to listen to them”-Jay Glazer
“The best way to win the day is to win the moment. Moments turn into days, days into weeks and weeks into years.”-Doshia Woods
“Unshakeable confidence isn’t about the results. It’s about self awareness.”-David Nurse
“It’s not always the path of least resistance that gets you where you want to go, it’s the path that’s worth taking”-Sam Acho
“When we focus on honoring others as our mission in life, differences fade. Prejudice becomes a foreign concept.”- Miles McPherson
There are a LOT more. You should definitely check it out.
You most likely will find something there to help fuel you daily, and I guarantee it will make your Tuesday a little happier!
In his book, The Infinite Game, Simon Sinek discusses the ideas of constant improvement.
Too often, businesses (and individuals) look at this constant improvement in the form of procedures, policies, accolades, awards, etc.
There is absolutely nothing wrong woth all of that.
However, the true idea of constant improvement should come in the forms of improving teamwork, mindset, skills, connection with others, compassion and leadership.
These traits are more important because they drive us to create a better now, and to leave a better legacy fo the sake of our family, friends, customers, loved ones and communities. The accolades are achieved as a result of these things.
The great (and sometimes frustrating, depending on how you choose to look at it) thing about these intrinsic improvements (as opposed to accolades and awards) is that there is no “finish line.” The goal is to constantly improve, not to “arrive.”
So today, envision your life improving for the sake of improvement and any awards, goals or et cetera are just mile markers along the infinite game of life.
I recently discovered the term “toxic positivity.”
Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. It’s a “good vibes only” approach. (Taken from http://www.verywellmind.com)
I choose to be positive, and I write about positivity not because I see the world through rose-colored glasses, but because I decide to realize the world is a beautiful place.
I whole-heartedly believe that when circumstances are awful, we should recognize that, allow ourselves to grieve, mourn, cry, get frustrated, angry and lash out some even.
It is always ok to not be ok.
However, I also believe that it is up to ourselves to change our situation for the future. It is up to us to learn from any challenge and apply it toward a growth mindset.
The only way positivity can be toxic is in the absence of empathy. If someone (even if it is yourself) is going through some horrible situations, I don’t believe we should talk to them (ourselves) about maintaining positivity without acknowledging THE SUCK of the situation. First and foremost, be kind, listen, hug, comfort.
Also realize that part of the comfort is the belief/faith that all things pass and life will move on and in fact can become better, eventually.
I believe, too often, we (myself included) have a tendency to listen to others in order to respond.
We really should listen to learn.
It is harder than it sounds.
In order to listen to learn, we must be connected, intentionally hearing what others have to say. We must also silence our thoughts as they naturally attempt to formulate a rebuttal or an application to ourselves.
When we truly “lend an ear” to those we are with, we grow in compassion, connection and improve.
The true joy in life comes not from the accolades, finish lines or etc.
True joy is found on the journey toward our goals.
We may not realize it at the time, because putting in the work to get to where we want to go, is hard.
However, without the “struggle”, our achievements would be far less meaningful.
The award you win for completing a 10k would be a glorified paperweight if it was easy to achieve.
Even an Olympic medal would be just another shiny object if winning it was easy.
So, no matter how hard the struggle is now, realize that in the end, this time, this toil and this work you are putting in will truly lead to a more fulfilling life.
I had the privilege of listening to some amazing speakers tonight on a zoom call (yeah, that’s a thing now, didn’t know if you heard). Dr Cody Elledge spoke to my soul about stress vs focus. And low and behold, sticking to my wife’s computer was the above image.
She is so smart!
At first glance, the words “focused” and stressed are similar.
Even our good pal Webster and his Dictionary state they are synonyms.
However, the difference is that when you are stressed about or over something (or in today’s realities, many things), you tend to be obsessive about the PROBLEM, and not looking or working toward the SOLUTION.
When you are stressed, your body is flooded with negative chemicals. Your heart rate increases, your digestion slows down, your adrenals are taxed, you become fatigued, yet you can’t sleep. Your reproductive system is sluggish, your blood pressure elevates, and your ability to think clearly actually decreases as well.
So you obsess over the problem, make your self LITERALLY sick, and you arrive no closer to the solution.
On the other hand, if instead you are focused, you are actively searching for ways to improve your situation and to escape whatever 💩storm you find yourself in.
When you flip the script from stress to focus, you are finely tuned. Your heart rate may increase, but only at first. When you focus, your brain secretes chemicals that help you achieve a goal, rather than stay put in the endless spiral of stress-worry-stress-worry. When you focus, your cortical thinking improves and you ACHIEVE results.
So stressed and focused are similar , but the end results are MONUMENTALLY different.
So acknowledge the stressors in your life today, but choose what you want to FOCUS on, work toward the solutions, and get busy living your best life!