Chasing your shadow

Chasing success is a lot like chasing your own shadow.

When you make big goals for yourself, you can see them in front of you, so you work/walk toward that goal. And over tune, the shadow gets smaller as you get closer and closer to your goal. When you reach it, that feels amazing!

You can walk around a bit taller with the shadow going out behind you now.

But we cannot keep that shadow behind us forever. We need to dream bigger and create new goals, new shadows to walk toward.

Rinse. Repeat.

Our 3 year old standard poodle is amazing at this. In fact we have dubbed her “The Shadow Hunter” because she runs after shadows with abandon. She doesn’t chase birds or squirrels, but dives after their shadows. She never “catches” her goal, but the act of trying gets her tail a waggin’!

The key to this is knowing the journey is what is the most important. If we only look at the big goals, the shadows we are chasing we will miss the beauty of the voyage.

Have big dreams.

Chase them.

But look up and love the journey!

Happy Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Hedonic adaptation

hedonic-treadmill

Today, in my coursework video (The Science of Well-Being through Coursera in concert with Yale), the professor went over the term: hedonic adaptation.

The theory of hedonic adaptation or the hedonic treadmill is that as humans, we search for things/experiences that we feel will make us happy, but once we have them, their effect on our happiness dwindles with time.

You can’t wait to buy that new car, and it makes you so happy to drive around in it…for the first few months, then it becomes just a car.

You cannot wait to move into your new home, but after a few years, it is just your home.

The above may be slight exaggerations, but you get the gist.

Our brains are “wired” to get used to stuff. So even AMAZING things, become less amazing with time.

So how do we combat this natural ability to lessen our happiness?

For one: GRATITUDE.

Think back to things you were so happy to be able to purchase/experience in the past, and re-kindle that gratitude today.

Another way: focus on experiences, not things.

We all need things and it is perfectly ok to buy a new vehicle every once in a while, or shiny shoes or etc.

But research shows our happiness scores are higher and last longer when we experience things (vacations, meals, time with friends, etc), even when we believe they will not. Research also shows that, even though across the board we are happier, and the effects are longer lasting, with experiences, we tend to believe that we will be much happier with the thing that lasts longer rather than the fleeting experience.

So we need to trick our minds a bit and incorporate more experiences into our quest for happiness.

Vacations, bbqs, friendly games of corn-hole, sing and dance with your spouse/partner/friend/family at your house, sit outside with your family making smores around the fire-pit, go camping, etc.

These experiences are truly enjoyable, and the memories are fond and long lasting (in part because they END. The vehicle you buy will last for years, and you get accustomed to it’s presence). Experiences also allow us to feel we are benefitting others (oxytocin is a much longer lasting key to happiness feeling than dopamine. Oxytocin is released when we are connected with others, dopamine is more of a solitary hormone). Others benefit by joining us in the experience, and we can tell others about our experiences more than we can about our “things.” People also are much happier to hear about experiences rather than the new coat you bought 🙂

So get out there today (or if the pandemic limits that, start PLANNING your next experience), create a fuller, longer-lasting happiness by virtue of your experiences!

-Happy Tuesday!

Dr. Lindeman

Your view/your future

This is an excerpt from the book: “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert.

Good book so far.

The point I want to make form the Shakespeare quote is that we need to create our own happiness.

We can “borrow” goals and visions from others, but ultimately, we need to steer our own ship.

Just because you see some successes make others happy, they may not make you feel the same.

Find what lights you up, and work toward doing more of that :-).

-Happy Monday!

Dr Lindeman

Multiple choices

In any given situation, we always have choices.

In situations of adversity or success, we will always have options, and depending on how we choose, the results can easily flip the situation on its head (adversity—>success, success—>adversity).

Situations never define us, it’s how we react to them that creates who we are, and sets the stage for our future.

We can achieve a victory and then stop practicing. We can obtain the amazing job, and therefore become complacent in learning. We can lose 20 lbs and then decide we can stop exercising.

All of these successful situations are wonderful, but the decisions after the achievement can create a more negative future.

Likewise, we can lose the race, and decide to train harder. We can fail an exam and decide to study more. We can find ourselves in quarantine, and decide to create paths to a better future with our time.

Even when things ‘royally suck’, it’s truly how we react to them that matters most.

We are NEVER victims of our circumstance. We are only truly victims of how we react to them.

You always have options…Choose wisely my friends!

Happy Wednesday!

-Dr Lindeman

It’s about you!

Do you think the #1 pole vaulter in the world even knows who the #1 juggler in the world is?

Does the highest paid cricket player in the world have any idea how much the highest paid toothpaste ad man makes?

Does the world’s most renowned microbiologist have an inkling of who the world’s most renowned sous-chef is?

The answer to all of these questions (I’m 99.9% sure, can’t be 100% because the cricket player and toothpaste guy could be neighbors, you never know) is NO WAY!

The point is, if we scratch and claw to become the best in order to compare ourselves to others, the amount of people we can even compare ourselves to is minuscule when we think of the world as a whole.

We should all strive to be the best we can be at whatever we choose to do (and that doesn’t have to mean a job, or a sport, we can be the best dad/husband/wife/son/friend that WE can be).

But we should NEVER try to be the best in comparison to anyone else.

Because the fact of the matter is, we can never be the best anything besides our best selves!

Happy Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Just 1%

What if we just tried to do 1% better today?

Just attempt to be 1% better at our jobs, our hobbies, our parenting, our friendships, our exercise regimen, our role as humans?

Seems pretty easy and simple to me.

Too often we put big demands on ourselves, to take drastic steps toward improvement. But consistency rules all.

If we can work in improving in smaller chunks everyday, we will be tremendously better than if we attempt to take large jumps.

We can stick with 1% for sure!

So get out there and give me 1% more 😀

Happy Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

Drive your own car, Captain!

When you are driving down the highway, do you pull up next to the person driving in the next lane and try to figure out how they are driving?

Where are their hands positioned?

Are their windows down?

What temperature do they keep their air conditioning at?

What sort of music are they listening to?

Of course not!

You need to worry about how you drove your own vehicle.

The point is, no one can drive/walk/live your life except you! So why do we compare ourselves to others?

We should definitely learn from other’s mistakes and successes, sure, but ultimately we need to be at the helm of our own lives.

Get driving, because only YOU can take YOU to where YOU want to go!

Happy driving (might I suggest jamming to this song by The Surfaces? Just a suggestion, feel free to skip it, Captain 👨‍✈️)

Have a glorious Wednesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Drive the culture!

I love this from Jon Gordon.

If you are a leader of any type (odds are you are in some fashion), your number one job is to drive the culture of those that you lead.

You do this by modeling what you want to accomplish, by listening, by being compassionate.

Lead on my friends!

-Dr Lindeman

Your smile changes the world

Especially fitting during these times.

Your smile can change the world! It can light up someone’s day, it can push away the dark.

Just make sure you are using that gift and not letting it go dormant.

Complacency kills.

We need to arm ourselves with more positivity and more light in order to push back the dark.

So 😀😁😆😂🤣🙂😍 all you can today 🙂

Your thoughts determine your destiny

Great words during a troubled time.

We are ALL a bit scared, uncertain of what the future holds.

Especially during this time.

Therefore, it is even more imperative to guard your thoughts.

Nourish your soul with positivity.

Not FALSE HOPE.

Just hope.

Hope that we will overcome (as a human race we have a pretty strong track record of doing that).

Hope that we will regain some normalcy in the coming months.

Hope in the compassion and conviction of the human mind, soul and heart.

You will be ok.

We will all be OK!

Nourish your soul (and the souls of other’s today) with positivity.

-Dr Lindeman