This is from “Just Mercy”, a great book.
I love this paragraph.
Times are crazy and everyone is going through some “schtuff” right now.
But we need to recover.
We need to grow.
In order for that to happen, we need to hold each other to a higher standard and then help each other achieve those standards.
Share compassion, love and understanding.
And at the same time, attempt to better yourself so that your levels of all the above are that much higher.
-Happy Thursday!
-Dr Lindeman
I saw this on a message from Elephant Journal. It kid of gave me pause.
So true we should not seek help from those who continue to hurt us.
The same goes for ourselves.
If we feel we let ourselves down, we need to push forward from the perspective of whom we want to grow to be.
We cannot create new, positive habits with the same negative thinking that created our old, bad habits.
We need to fathom our future from the perspective of our improved, future selves.
As Coach Klein said in The Waterboy with Adam Sandler: “visualize and attack.”
Picture whom you want to be and then work on doing things to get yourself there.
Happy Monday!
-Dr Lindeman
I know many times, we human beings can be complacent.
Sometimes it’s sheer laziness.
Sometimes, it’s because we believe that since we are only 1/7,800,000,000th of the world’s population, what we do is too small to matter.
Maybe we feel that our actions/thoughts are just drops in a gigantic bucket.
Here’s the thing though: that bucket is so full because of the other 7.8 billion thoughts/actions put their drops in there!
One small action may seem infinitesimal, but without a whole heckuva lot of them, nothing gets accomplished and the “bucket” remains empty.
Also, your actions are more-than-likely going to cause others to act as well, and that butterfly effect can create huge consequences.
So, if you are holding back on writing your book, your blog, starting your business, saying what you feel, donating what you can, etc, because you feel your impact will be too small… rethink and realize, the world NEEDS your positive input.
WE (MYSELF INCLUDED) NEED what you can give!
Your “drop” matters SO much more than you know, and you are vastly more powerful that you can imagine!
Get busy filling that bucket!
Happy Wednesday, my friends!
-Dr. Lindeman
Live in the moment.
As human beings we have the amazing ability to think about the past and the present which is pretty cool, except when those thoughts take us away from the present.
Studies have shown that our minds are prone to wonder which actually decreases not only our ability to focus on tasks at hand, but actually decreases our happiness.
When we can focus, and even more so when we can train our ability to do so (via activities such as meditation), we can improve our happiness in the moment and for the future 🙂
Happy Monday!
-Dr Lindeman
In my book, one chapter is dedicated to the fact that life’s small inconveniences (spilled coffee, stepping in a mud puddle, etc) can exponentially create an entire “bad day.”
We tend to overreact to small problems when compared to large ones.
In the book, “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert, he discusses WHY these little triggers (as he titles them) can cause more havoc than big, devastating events.
We have a psychological immune systems, like many systems in our bodies, work with thresholds. When something is large enough to go over that threshold a defense mechanism is triggered and set into motion. We can rationalize a breakup with someone we love. We can overcome fractures, dislocations, and the links easier than we can overcome a slice to the pinky toe. We can move on stronger when we don’t get the job we sorely wanted more easily than we can overcome ruining our favorite shirt with a bbq stain.
When the attack is under our threshold, we don’t deploy our defensive “troops” to overcome the insult.
So what does this mean?
It means we are amazing, first of all.
We were created with extreme resiliency to overcome huge challenges.
It also means we need to be more vigilant in working through the little things in order to circumvent their effects.
Be conscious of life’s little cuts, and actively work to overcome them. The big stuff, most likely, we are already prepared for.
Happy Wednesday!
-Dr Lindeman
I love the song “The Fire” by The Roots.
Great messages throughout, here’s some of the lines that hit me right in the feels…
“And I’m an icon when I let my light shine. Shine bright as an example of a champion, takin the advantage, never coppin out or cancelin. Run like a chariot, learning how to carry it. Maverick. Always above and beyond average.”
“Realize I’m supposed to reach for the skies. Never let somebody tell you otherwise.”
And the chorus:
“Theres something in your heart, and it’s in your eyes. It’s the fire, inside you. Let it burn. You don’t say good luck, you say don’t give up, it’s the fire. Inside you. Let it burn.”
I love the song because it ain’t just about “winning,” it’s about acknowledging your purpose, your inspiration, your fuel that keeps you fired up.
Not simply about the accolades.
And when you let your fire burn, you warm everyone around you, and you light up the world with positive change.
We need your light. Let it burn!
Focus on the fire (your why) and there’s no limit to the skies you will reach.
Keep that 🔥 stoked today!
Happy Thirsday
-Dr Lindeman
Pretty awesome, right?!
Just a reminder.
You may not know me.
But you are loved.
Pass it on!
Have a lovely Wednesday!
-Dr. Lindeman
Today, in my coursework video (The Science of Well-Being through Coursera in concert with Yale), the professor went over the term: hedonic adaptation.
The theory of hedonic adaptation or the hedonic treadmill is that as humans, we search for things/experiences that we feel will make us happy, but once we have them, their effect on our happiness dwindles with time.
You can’t wait to buy that new car, and it makes you so happy to drive around in it…for the first few months, then it becomes just a car.
You cannot wait to move into your new home, but after a few years, it is just your home.
The above may be slight exaggerations, but you get the gist.
Our brains are “wired” to get used to stuff. So even AMAZING things, become less amazing with time.
So how do we combat this natural ability to lessen our happiness?
For one: GRATITUDE.
Think back to things you were so happy to be able to purchase/experience in the past, and re-kindle that gratitude today.
Another way: focus on experiences, not things.
We all need things and it is perfectly ok to buy a new vehicle every once in a while, or shiny shoes or etc.
But research shows our happiness scores are higher and last longer when we experience things (vacations, meals, time with friends, etc), even when we believe they will not. Research also shows that, even though across the board we are happier, and the effects are longer lasting, with experiences, we tend to believe that we will be much happier with the thing that lasts longer rather than the fleeting experience.
So we need to trick our minds a bit and incorporate more experiences into our quest for happiness.
Vacations, bbqs, friendly games of corn-hole, sing and dance with your spouse/partner/friend/family at your house, sit outside with your family making smores around the fire-pit, go camping, etc.
These experiences are truly enjoyable, and the memories are fond and long lasting (in part because they END. The vehicle you buy will last for years, and you get accustomed to it’s presence). Experiences also allow us to feel we are benefitting others (oxytocin is a much longer lasting key to happiness feeling than dopamine. Oxytocin is released when we are connected with others, dopamine is more of a solitary hormone). Others benefit by joining us in the experience, and we can tell others about our experiences more than we can about our “things.” People also are much happier to hear about experiences rather than the new coat you bought 🙂
So get out there today (or if the pandemic limits that, start PLANNING your next experience), create a fuller, longer-lasting happiness by virtue of your experiences!
-Happy Tuesday!
Dr. Lindeman
In any given situation, we always have choices.
In situations of adversity or success, we will always have options, and depending on how we choose, the results can easily flip the situation on its head (adversity—>success, success—>adversity).
Situations never define us, it’s how we react to them that creates who we are, and sets the stage for our future.
We can achieve a victory and then stop practicing. We can obtain the amazing job, and therefore become complacent in learning. We can lose 20 lbs and then decide we can stop exercising.
All of these successful situations are wonderful, but the decisions after the achievement can create a more negative future.
Likewise, we can lose the race, and decide to train harder. We can fail an exam and decide to study more. We can find ourselves in quarantine, and decide to create paths to a better future with our time.
Even when things ‘royally suck’, it’s truly how we react to them that matters most.
We are NEVER victims of our circumstance. We are only truly victims of how we react to them.
You always have options…Choose wisely my friends!
Happy Wednesday!
-Dr Lindeman
Do you think the #1 pole vaulter in the world even knows who the #1 juggler in the world is?
Does the highest paid cricket player in the world have any idea how much the highest paid toothpaste ad man makes?
Does the world’s most renowned microbiologist have an inkling of who the world’s most renowned sous-chef is?
The answer to all of these questions (I’m 99.9% sure, can’t be 100% because the cricket player and toothpaste guy could be neighbors, you never know) is NO WAY!
The point is, if we scratch and claw to become the best in order to compare ourselves to others, the amount of people we can even compare ourselves to is minuscule when we think of the world as a whole.
We should all strive to be the best we can be at whatever we choose to do (and that doesn’t have to mean a job, or a sport, we can be the best dad/husband/wife/son/friend that WE can be).
But we should NEVER try to be the best in comparison to anyone else.
Because the fact of the matter is, we can never be the best anything besides our best selves!
Happy Tuesday!
-Dr Lindeman
Dissemination of Inspiration 