These are great words of advice.
However, I don’t feel we NEED to love simply all the time. Doing some extravagant things (big vacations, big experiences) can truly be a gateway to happiness as well.
As long as we are doing them to savor and not to show off 😎
Find one thing on this list and expand it in your life today.
Happy Monday!
-Dr Lindeman.
I love the song “The Fire” by The Roots.
Great messages throughout, here’s some of the lines that hit me right in the feels…
“And I’m an icon when I let my light shine. Shine bright as an example of a champion, takin the advantage, never coppin out or cancelin. Run like a chariot, learning how to carry it. Maverick. Always above and beyond average.”
“Realize I’m supposed to reach for the skies. Never let somebody tell you otherwise.”
And the chorus:
“Theres something in your heart, and it’s in your eyes. It’s the fire, inside you. Let it burn. You don’t say good luck, you say don’t give up, it’s the fire. Inside you. Let it burn.”
I love the song because it ain’t just about “winning,” it’s about acknowledging your purpose, your inspiration, your fuel that keeps you fired up.
Not simply about the accolades.
And when you let your fire burn, you warm everyone around you, and you light up the world with positive change.
We need your light. Let it burn!
Focus on the fire (your why) and there’s no limit to the skies you will reach.
Keep that 🔥 stoked today!
Happy Thirsday
-Dr Lindeman
Pretty awesome, right?!
I attended (via Zoom) an amazing conference this past weekend.
There were a LOT of great speakers, but one of my favorites had these two gems:
“You need to be willing to give up what you want now, for what you truly want forever” and “discipline is the bridge between our goals and achievements.” – Dr Jennifer Knobbe
It was a great reminder and impetus for me to start re-building bridges to where I truly want to go.
It’s easy to get comfortable in the moment. It’s easy to do things that make us a tiny bit happier than putting in a tiny bit more work would.
It is imperative to refresh and to re-energize in order to succeed, but there are times and places for that.
I realized I was taking breaks when I should have been working on my dreams, AND taking breaks when I was supposed to be taking breaks.
Coasting never creates momentum (unless it is downhill).
We don’t need to push ourselves so hard that we give up. But, we all know when we could use a bit more push in order to succeed, and I am truly grateful for those reminders.
Thank you Dr Knobbe (and all the other amazing speakers, many of which I will probably quote in the coming weeks 🙂
Get building those bridges!
Happy Tuesday!
-Dr Lindeman
This story was taken from the book below:
“About 50 years ago a Pygmy named Kenge took his first trip out of the dense, tropical forests of Africa and into the open plains in the company of an anthropologist. Buffalo appeared in the distance-small black specks against a bleached sky- and the Pygmy surveyed them curiously. Finally, he turned to the anthropologist and asked what kind of insects they were. “When I told Kenge that these insects were indeed large buffalo, he roared with laughter and told me not to tell such stupid lies.”
The Pygmy had no concept of a distant horizon, he lived his life in a dense tropical forest. His perception drove his reality.
Sometimes we need to borrow others’ vision in order to see what is possible. Sometimes we don’t have a concept of a distant horizon 🙂
Borrow a BIG vision for your future today!
Happy Thirsday
-Dr Lindeman
Want to be happier?
Be NICE to others 🙂
There is a PLETHORA of evidence that shows when we practice kindness toward others, we increase our own happiness. This study published in the Journal of Social Psychology showed that people who performed acts of kindness for 10 days, were significantly happier than those who did not.
The website: kindness.org did a meta-analysis (basically taking a whole bunch of studies on the same thing, figuring out their validity and combining the results) that showed in fact “being kind genuinely does boost your happiness.” (https://medium.com/kindlab/does-kindness-create-happiness-19126c5883ff)
Another study that I learned about this morning, measured happiness scores between people who were given $5 or $20 and they could spend on themselves or others. The people who spent on others were across the board happier. Even more interesting though was they also did this study in Canada and in Uganda. $20 means a lot more to people in Uganda than it does to people living in urban Canada. The same amount of money that can buy you a few lattes in Canada can purchase important medication for your whole family in Uganda. What the researchers found was that people in both areas felt happier (and almost by the same amount) when they spent the money on others, rather than themseleves/their own families.
I love this study for a few reasons. 1) Be kind, you will be happier and 2) It doesn’t take A BIG thing to increase your happiness. Small acts of kindness will improve your own well-being just as much as HUGE ones. The good news about that, small acts are so much easier to do over-and-over again, day after day.
So do some small things, plant some kindness and soak up that love you feel inside 🙂
Have a kind and happy Wednesday!
-Dr. Lindeman
I believe that affirmations (especially in the morning) are powerful.
Our subconscious minds are constantly telling us things throughout the day anyway.
Our “little voices” tell us that we aren’t doing a good enough job, we aren’t good enough, we are lacking compared to “that man” or “that woman.”
If we wrote down all the negative self talk thay pops up throughout the day, we may be astonished.
So to combat…AFFIRM the positives. Create the habit of noticing how friggin awesome we are, how amazing life is, and how we are going to continue growing both (our awesomeness and the worlds amazing ness) by coaching ourselves a bit more.
You are amazing!
Tell yourself 😉
Happy Monday!
-Dr Lindeman
Just a reminder.
You may not know me.
But you are loved.
Pass it on!
Have a lovely Wednesday!
-Dr. Lindeman
This past weekend , my family and I had a wonderful trip to Folly Beach, South Carolina.
We breathed the ocean air in deep and enjoyed connection with each other.
In the meantime, mayhem was erupting (with cause).
I know I am privileged. I know my family is too. I do work hard, and we try to teach our children about viewing the world through others’ lenses as well. And I cannot imagine the amount of pain, and fear that a large portion of our population are feeling (and have been feeling for decades).
I am also afraid of the extremism that exists today. White, black, left, right, anti-(fill in the blank), pro-(fill in the blank), stay home bc of covid, re-open, etc. The divisions are real and very polarizing.
I believe the answers lie in empathy. We can have our own viewpoints but we should try to understand others as well. We can “stand our ground” but we also must try to see the other territory. If we can promote love, compassion and try for some understanding, the world will be more peaceful.
So try to do that a bit today. Have some conversations with others who don’t feel the way you do. Try to see their side. I can almost guarantee, they will have some valid points, just as much as I can guarantee you will as well.
Spread some love today. Promote peace.
Happy Tuesday
-Dr Lindeman
Chasing success is a lot like chasing your own shadow.
When you make big goals for yourself, you can see them in front of you, so you work/walk toward that goal. And over tune, the shadow gets smaller as you get closer and closer to your goal. When you reach it, that feels amazing!
You can walk around a bit taller with the shadow going out behind you now.
But we cannot keep that shadow behind us forever. We need to dream bigger and create new goals, new shadows to walk toward.
Rinse. Repeat.
Our 3 year old standard poodle is amazing at this. In fact we have dubbed her “The Shadow Hunter” because she runs after shadows with abandon. She doesn’t chase birds or squirrels, but dives after their shadows. She never “catches” her goal, but the act of trying gets her tail a waggin’!
The key to this is knowing the journey is what is the most important. If we only look at the big goals, the shadows we are chasing we will miss the beauty of the voyage.
Have big dreams.
Chase them.
But look up and love the journey!
Happy Tuesday!
-Dr Lindeman
Today, in my coursework video (The Science of Well-Being through Coursera in concert with Yale), the professor went over the term: hedonic adaptation.
The theory of hedonic adaptation or the hedonic treadmill is that as humans, we search for things/experiences that we feel will make us happy, but once we have them, their effect on our happiness dwindles with time.
You can’t wait to buy that new car, and it makes you so happy to drive around in it…for the first few months, then it becomes just a car.
You cannot wait to move into your new home, but after a few years, it is just your home.
The above may be slight exaggerations, but you get the gist.
Our brains are “wired” to get used to stuff. So even AMAZING things, become less amazing with time.
So how do we combat this natural ability to lessen our happiness?
For one: GRATITUDE.
Think back to things you were so happy to be able to purchase/experience in the past, and re-kindle that gratitude today.
Another way: focus on experiences, not things.
We all need things and it is perfectly ok to buy a new vehicle every once in a while, or shiny shoes or etc.
But research shows our happiness scores are higher and last longer when we experience things (vacations, meals, time with friends, etc), even when we believe they will not. Research also shows that, even though across the board we are happier, and the effects are longer lasting, with experiences, we tend to believe that we will be much happier with the thing that lasts longer rather than the fleeting experience.
So we need to trick our minds a bit and incorporate more experiences into our quest for happiness.
Vacations, bbqs, friendly games of corn-hole, sing and dance with your spouse/partner/friend/family at your house, sit outside with your family making smores around the fire-pit, go camping, etc.
These experiences are truly enjoyable, and the memories are fond and long lasting (in part because they END. The vehicle you buy will last for years, and you get accustomed to it’s presence). Experiences also allow us to feel we are benefitting others (oxytocin is a much longer lasting key to happiness feeling than dopamine. Oxytocin is released when we are connected with others, dopamine is more of a solitary hormone). Others benefit by joining us in the experience, and we can tell others about our experiences more than we can about our “things.” People also are much happier to hear about experiences rather than the new coat you bought 🙂
So get out there today (or if the pandemic limits that, start PLANNING your next experience), create a fuller, longer-lasting happiness by virtue of your experiences!
-Happy Tuesday!
Dr. Lindeman
Dissemination of Inspiration 