Ruminate or Marinate?

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It is so easy to worry, especially today.

Uncertainty promotes fear which feeds worry.

Worries are imaginary friends (and I call them friends because we do seem to spend a lot of time with them).

When we ruminate in worry, we rob our soul of joy.

Worry and hope/faith are two sides of the same coin, and we can choose which one to focus on.

Neither our hopes/dreams or our worries/fears have happened, so they both don’t exist. We just give power to them by virtue of our thoughts and emotions.

So we can choose.

We can stop ruminating in worry, and instead marinate in dreams and positive visions for the future.

It really is that simple.

But simple ain’t EASY.

We need to put in some work, to train our minds to focus on hope rather than fear, it doesn’t come naturally.

Get busy working/marinating today, create that habit of doing so and it will become easier.

And the future will taste all the more delicious for us doing so.

Happy Thursday!

-Dr. Lindeman

Hedonic adaptation

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Today, in my coursework video (The Science of Well-Being through Coursera in concert with Yale), the professor went over the term: hedonic adaptation.

The theory of hedonic adaptation or the hedonic treadmill is that as humans, we search for things/experiences that we feel will make us happy, but once we have them, their effect on our happiness dwindles with time.

You can’t wait to buy that new car, and it makes you so happy to drive around in it…for the first few months, then it becomes just a car.

You cannot wait to move into your new home, but after a few years, it is just your home.

The above may be slight exaggerations, but you get the gist.

Our brains are “wired” to get used to stuff. So even AMAZING things, become less amazing with time.

So how do we combat this natural ability to lessen our happiness?

For one: GRATITUDE.

Think back to things you were so happy to be able to purchase/experience in the past, and re-kindle that gratitude today.

Another way: focus on experiences, not things.

We all need things and it is perfectly ok to buy a new vehicle every once in a while, or shiny shoes or etc.

But research shows our happiness scores are higher and last longer when we experience things (vacations, meals, time with friends, etc), even when we believe they will  not. Research also shows that, even though across the board we are happier, and the effects are longer lasting, with experiences, we tend to believe that we will be much happier with the thing that lasts longer rather than the fleeting experience.

So we need to trick our minds a bit and incorporate more experiences into our quest for happiness.

Vacations, bbqs, friendly games of corn-hole, sing and dance with your spouse/partner/friend/family at your house, sit outside with your family making smores around the fire-pit, go camping, etc.

These experiences are truly enjoyable, and the memories are fond and long lasting (in part because they END. The vehicle you buy will last for years, and you get accustomed to it’s presence). Experiences also allow us to feel we are benefitting others (oxytocin is a much longer lasting key to happiness feeling than dopamine. Oxytocin is released when we are connected with others, dopamine is more of a solitary hormone). Others benefit by joining us in the experience, and we can tell others about our experiences more than we can about our “things.” People also are much happier to hear about experiences rather than the new coat you bought 🙂

So get out there today (or if the pandemic limits that, start PLANNING your next experience), create a fuller, longer-lasting happiness by virtue of your experiences!

-Happy Tuesday!

Dr. Lindeman

 

 

 

Your view/your future

This is an excerpt from the book: “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert.

Good book so far.

The point I want to make form the Shakespeare quote is that we need to create our own happiness.

We can “borrow” goals and visions from others, but ultimately, we need to steer our own ship.

Just because you see some successes make others happy, they may not make you feel the same.

Find what lights you up, and work toward doing more of that :-).

-Happy Monday!

Dr Lindeman

Multiple choices

In any given situation, we always have choices.

In situations of adversity or success, we will always have options, and depending on how we choose, the results can easily flip the situation on its head (adversity—>success, success—>adversity).

Situations never define us, it’s how we react to them that creates who we are, and sets the stage for our future.

We can achieve a victory and then stop practicing. We can obtain the amazing job, and therefore become complacent in learning. We can lose 20 lbs and then decide we can stop exercising.

All of these successful situations are wonderful, but the decisions after the achievement can create a more negative future.

Likewise, we can lose the race, and decide to train harder. We can fail an exam and decide to study more. We can find ourselves in quarantine, and decide to create paths to a better future with our time.

Even when things ‘royally suck’, it’s truly how we react to them that matters most.

We are NEVER victims of our circumstance. We are only truly victims of how we react to them.

You always have options…Choose wisely my friends!

Happy Wednesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Drive the culture!

I love this from Jon Gordon.

If you are a leader of any type (odds are you are in some fashion), your number one job is to drive the culture of those that you lead.

You do this by modeling what you want to accomplish, by listening, by being compassionate.

Lead on my friends!

-Dr Lindeman

Your thoughts determine your destiny

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Great words during a troubled time.

We are ALL a bit scared, uncertain of what the future holds.

Especially during this time.

Therefore, it is even more imperative to guard your thoughts.

Nourish your soul with positivity.

Not FALSE HOPE.

Just hope.

Hope that we will overcome (as a human race we have a pretty strong track record of doing that).

Hope that we will regain some normalcy in the coming months.

Hope in the compassion and conviction of the human mind, soul and heart.

You will be ok.

We will all be OK!

Nourish your soul (and the souls of other’s today) with positivity.

-Dr Lindeman

 

QUAREN-TOOLS

Hello everyone!

These are strange days indeed.

The Covid-19 epidemic is a scary one.

BUT WE CAN’T LET FEAR DRIVE OUR BUS.

Be cautious. Stay at home. Wash your hands. Eat well. Drink well. Think well. Maintain your health.

MAINTAIN YOUR SANITY!

It is ok to read up on the spread of the virus. Just don’t get caught up in it.

Make the most of the time you have at home with your families.

In some respects, you are gaining time to do things that you’ve always wanted to do, but have never had time for.

Jon Gordon (a tremendous motivational speaker/author) wrote The Energy Bus when during a personal crisis his world “slowed down” and he was able to write the book in 3.5 weeks. Since then the book has sold an unimaginable amount of copies, and launched a world-wide speaking and writing career for him.

By all means, social distance, but that opens to door to form better, stronger connections with our loved ones  we are close to.

Write letters to people that have influenced and inspired you in your lifetime.

Thank your parents.

Video call the grandparents.

Send thank you cards to veterans that have helped solidify our freedoms.

Write a book.

Write some poetry.

Sing songs. Even if it’s just in the shower.

Download audiomixing software and become your own DJ.

TikTok?

Dust off those old board games and play as a family.

Meditate.

Exercise.

Figure out what you do so well that others will want to see/read/hear how you do it and spread that around. Teach others via social media/email/video.

Re-organize your living space. Feng some serious Shui in your domicile!

Paint, color, draw…

Don’t let this time stifle your growth, instead allow it to be a vector to it’s spread!

And for goodness sakes, stop hoarding all the T.P!. 🙂

I love you all.

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This too shall pass.

-Love and peace to you,

Dr. Lindeman

 

You build your own walls

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Many times, we are responsible for the limits we have in life, because in fact… we put them there.

Our self-doubt, our desire to stay within our comfort zone (not expand our horizons), our routines, our beliefs… all of these are bricks in the walls we build to stay right where we are.

Take some time to notice the bricks you build, and then get to work knocking them down!

Happy Monday!

-Dr. Lindeman