Practice Kindness… It makes YOU happy

Want to be happier?

Be NICE to others 🙂

There is a PLETHORA of evidence that shows when we practice kindness toward others, we increase our own happiness. This study published in the Journal of Social Psychology showed that people who performed acts of kindness for 10 days, were significantly happier than those who did not.

The website: kindness.org did a meta-analysis (basically taking a whole bunch of studies on the same thing, figuring out their validity and combining the results) that showed in fact “being kind genuinely does boost your happiness.” (https://medium.com/kindlab/does-kindness-create-happiness-19126c5883ff)

Another study that I learned about this morning, measured happiness scores between people who were given $5 or $20 and they could spend on themselves or others. The people who spent on others were across the board happier. Even more interesting though was they also did this study in Canada and in Uganda. $20 means a lot more to people in Uganda than it does to people living in urban Canada. The same amount of money that can buy you a few lattes in Canada can purchase important medication for your whole family in Uganda. What the researchers found was that people in both areas felt happier (and almost by the same amount) when they spent the money on others, rather than themseleves/their own families.

I love this study for a few reasons. 1) Be kind, you will be happier and 2) It doesn’t take A BIG thing to increase your happiness. Small acts of kindness will improve your own well-being just as much as HUGE ones. The good news about that, small acts are so much easier to do over-and-over again, day after day.

So do some small things, plant some kindness and soak up that love you feel inside 🙂

Have a kind and happy Wednesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

Affirm!

I believe that affirmations (especially in the morning) are powerful.

Our subconscious minds are constantly telling us things throughout the day anyway.

Our “little voices” tell us that we aren’t doing a good enough job, we aren’t good enough, we are lacking compared to “that man” or “that woman.”

If we wrote down all the negative self talk thay pops up throughout the day, we may be astonished.

So to combat…AFFIRM the positives. Create the habit of noticing how friggin awesome we are, how amazing life is, and how we are going to continue growing both (our awesomeness and the worlds amazing ness) by coaching ourselves a bit more.

You are amazing!

Tell yourself 😉

Happy Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

I love you, yes YOU!

loveyou

Just a reminder.

You may not know me.

But you are loved.

Pass it on!

Have a lovely Wednesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

Peace

This past weekend , my family and I had a wonderful trip to Folly Beach, South Carolina.

We breathed the ocean air in deep and enjoyed connection with each other.

In the meantime, mayhem was erupting (with cause).

I know I am privileged. I know my family is too. I do work hard, and we try to teach our children about viewing the world through others’ lenses as well. And I cannot imagine the amount of pain, and fear that a large portion of our population are feeling (and have been feeling for decades).

I am also afraid of the extremism that exists today. White, black, left, right, anti-(fill in the blank), pro-(fill in the blank), stay home bc of covid, re-open, etc. The divisions are real and very polarizing.

I believe the answers lie in empathy. We can have our own viewpoints but we should try to understand others as well. We can “stand our ground” but we also must try to see the other territory. If we can promote love, compassion and try for some understanding, the world will be more peaceful.

So try to do that a bit today. Have some conversations with others who don’t feel the way you do. Try to see their side. I can almost guarantee, they will have some valid points, just as much as I can guarantee you will as well.

Spread some love today. Promote peace.

Happy Tuesday

-Dr Lindeman

Chasing your shadow

Chasing success is a lot like chasing your own shadow.

When you make big goals for yourself, you can see them in front of you, so you work/walk toward that goal. And over tune, the shadow gets smaller as you get closer and closer to your goal. When you reach it, that feels amazing!

You can walk around a bit taller with the shadow going out behind you now.

But we cannot keep that shadow behind us forever. We need to dream bigger and create new goals, new shadows to walk toward.

Rinse. Repeat.

Our 3 year old standard poodle is amazing at this. In fact we have dubbed her “The Shadow Hunter” because she runs after shadows with abandon. She doesn’t chase birds or squirrels, but dives after their shadows. She never “catches” her goal, but the act of trying gets her tail a waggin’!

The key to this is knowing the journey is what is the most important. If we only look at the big goals, the shadows we are chasing we will miss the beauty of the voyage.

Have big dreams.

Chase them.

But look up and love the journey!

Happy Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Hedonic adaptation

hedonic-treadmill

Today, in my coursework video (The Science of Well-Being through Coursera in concert with Yale), the professor went over the term: hedonic adaptation.

The theory of hedonic adaptation or the hedonic treadmill is that as humans, we search for things/experiences that we feel will make us happy, but once we have them, their effect on our happiness dwindles with time.

You can’t wait to buy that new car, and it makes you so happy to drive around in it…for the first few months, then it becomes just a car.

You cannot wait to move into your new home, but after a few years, it is just your home.

The above may be slight exaggerations, but you get the gist.

Our brains are “wired” to get used to stuff. So even AMAZING things, become less amazing with time.

So how do we combat this natural ability to lessen our happiness?

For one: GRATITUDE.

Think back to things you were so happy to be able to purchase/experience in the past, and re-kindle that gratitude today.

Another way: focus on experiences, not things.

We all need things and it is perfectly ok to buy a new vehicle every once in a while, or shiny shoes or etc.

But research shows our happiness scores are higher and last longer when we experience things (vacations, meals, time with friends, etc), even when we believe they will not. Research also shows that, even though across the board we are happier, and the effects are longer lasting, with experiences, we tend to believe that we will be much happier with the thing that lasts longer rather than the fleeting experience.

So we need to trick our minds a bit and incorporate more experiences into our quest for happiness.

Vacations, bbqs, friendly games of corn-hole, sing and dance with your spouse/partner/friend/family at your house, sit outside with your family making smores around the fire-pit, go camping, etc.

These experiences are truly enjoyable, and the memories are fond and long lasting (in part because they END. The vehicle you buy will last for years, and you get accustomed to it’s presence). Experiences also allow us to feel we are benefitting others (oxytocin is a much longer lasting key to happiness feeling than dopamine. Oxytocin is released when we are connected with others, dopamine is more of a solitary hormone). Others benefit by joining us in the experience, and we can tell others about our experiences more than we can about our “things.” People also are much happier to hear about experiences rather than the new coat you bought 🙂

So get out there today (or if the pandemic limits that, start PLANNING your next experience), create a fuller, longer-lasting happiness by virtue of your experiences!

-Happy Tuesday!

Dr. Lindeman

Your view/your future

This is an excerpt from the book: “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert.

Good book so far.

The point I want to make form the Shakespeare quote is that we need to create our own happiness.

We can “borrow” goals and visions from others, but ultimately, we need to steer our own ship.

Just because you see some successes make others happy, they may not make you feel the same.

Find what lights you up, and work toward doing more of that :-).

-Happy Monday!

Dr Lindeman

Multiple choices

In any given situation, we always have choices.

In situations of adversity or success, we will always have options, and depending on how we choose, the results can easily flip the situation on its head (adversity—>success, success—>adversity).

Situations never define us, it’s how we react to them that creates who we are, and sets the stage for our future.

We can achieve a victory and then stop practicing. We can obtain the amazing job, and therefore become complacent in learning. We can lose 20 lbs and then decide we can stop exercising.

All of these successful situations are wonderful, but the decisions after the achievement can create a more negative future.

Likewise, we can lose the race, and decide to train harder. We can fail an exam and decide to study more. We can find ourselves in quarantine, and decide to create paths to a better future with our time.

Even when things ‘royally suck’, it’s truly how we react to them that matters most.

We are NEVER victims of our circumstance. We are only truly victims of how we react to them.

You always have options…Choose wisely my friends!

Happy Wednesday!

-Dr Lindeman

It’s about you!

Do you think the #1 pole vaulter in the world even knows who the #1 juggler in the world is?

Does the highest paid cricket player in the world have any idea how much the highest paid toothpaste ad man makes?

Does the world’s most renowned microbiologist have an inkling of who the world’s most renowned sous-chef is?

The answer to all of these questions (I’m 99.9% sure, can’t be 100% because the cricket player and toothpaste guy could be neighbors, you never know) is NO WAY!

The point is, if we scratch and claw to become the best in order to compare ourselves to others, the amount of people we can even compare ourselves to is minuscule when we think of the world as a whole.

We should all strive to be the best we can be at whatever we choose to do (and that doesn’t have to mean a job, or a sport, we can be the best dad/husband/wife/son/friend that WE can be).

But we should NEVER try to be the best in comparison to anyone else.

Because the fact of the matter is, we can never be the best anything besides our best selves!

Happy Tuesday!

-Dr Lindeman

Just 1%

What if we just tried to do 1% better today?

Just attempt to be 1% better at our jobs, our hobbies, our parenting, our friendships, our exercise regimen, our role as humans?

Seems pretty easy and simple to me.

Too often we put big demands on ourselves, to take drastic steps toward improvement. But consistency rules all.

If we can work in improving in smaller chunks everyday, we will be tremendously better than if we attempt to take large jumps.

We can stick with 1% for sure!

So get out there and give me 1% more 😀

Happy Monday!

-Dr Lindeman