Control…

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So, I DEFINITELY needed this today :).

We are upgrading our x-ray unit at the office and it has been a bit of “peeling an onion of roadblocks.”

One step forward, new hurdle to jump over. One step forward, new hurdle to jump over.

I was feeling rather frustrated with it all.

Then I saw this pop up in my feed as an amazing reminder that I can only control what I can control and focusing on anything else is as useful as trying to swim through hardened cement.

If you find a pile of hurdles in front of you today (or any day), don’t look left or right, just think and attack the jump, the things you CAN control.

Have fun jumping today (I promise that if you keep bounding those hurdles, you will keep moving forward 😉

Happy Monday

-Dr. Lindeman

Lots of starting points

This is one of my favorite new quotes. Past is in the past. We all ...

Life is full of ups and downs.

We will all strive valiantly, and we will all fail sometimes.

The key is to continue to be brave enough to restart.

At any given time we can change the trajectory of our lives (for better or for worse) by virtue of the simple decision to do so.

Decide to re-line up at the starting gate, and then take that first stride.

Even if we fall on the first step, we can always get up and re-set at the next start.

Line up. Take action. Fall.

Line up. Take action. Succeed.

Line up. Take action.

Line up.

Take action.

Line up….!

Have fun running your race today, whether it is one start and one finish or 430202143 starts, just keep lining up and taking action 😉

Happy Wendesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

The paradox of intention

Vishen Lakhiani (creator of Mindvalley.com) discussed a phenomenon known as “the paradox of intention” in a great talk you can find here.

He discusses 4 states of being. Think of a square with four boxes.

People can be happy now, unhappy now, have small dreams of the future or have big dreams of the future.

Too often people are not hitting the sweet spot (upper right if you are playing along at home). People tend to be content now and not thinking of future growth, or sadly more-often-than-not, unhappy now but big dreams of the future.

The caveat is this: in order for true growth to occur, we need to be happy now but with big dreams of the future as well.

So dream big, but also be extremely grateful for how far you’ve already come in life.

Start with gratitude, smile big and keep on dreaming-all are factors to make those dreams come true!

Happy Monday!

-Dr Lindeman

Human Connection

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This morning, I watched a great interview with Nicholas Epley (author of “Mindwise” and Professor of Behavioral Science at the University of Chicago).

The interview was about the role of human connection on happiness, and the lengths people go to in order to avoid social interaction sometimes even though research shows that such connections make both parties much happier.

He discussed an interesting study.

People’s happiness levels were measured after increasing their income 4x (400%!) and measured people’s happiness levels when they felt “lonely yesterday.”

The feeling of loneliness had a 7x impact (negatively) in happiness levels compared to an income increase of 400%!

That is remarkable!

Loneliness DRASTICALLY affects our happiness levels.

And yet in many instances, we choose to be lonely. On the bus, the train at D.I.A., on planes, in the checkout line at the supermarket, etc, we choose to keep to ourselves rather than connect with those around us. Some studies show this is because we feel we don’t want to “bother them,” but the research shows in almost all instances, engaging in light conversation/connection benefits the happiness of both parties.

We are more “connected” than ever before by virtue of social media, but we are also more lonely than ever before. Especially during these crazy times, it is even more imperative to reach out to others.

We are all lonely at times.

Work to change that today.

You will make others, AND YOURSELF, much happier in the process.

Happy Tuesday!

-Dr. Lindeman

 

Ways to be happy :-)

These are great words of advice.

However, I don’t feel we NEED to love simply all the time. Doing some extravagant things (big vacations, big experiences) can truly be a gateway to happiness as well.

As long as we are doing them to savor and not to show off 😎

Find one thing on this list and expand it in your life today.

Happy Monday!

-Dr Lindeman.

Hedonic adaptation

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Today, in my coursework video (The Science of Well-Being through Coursera in concert with Yale), the professor went over the term: hedonic adaptation.

The theory of hedonic adaptation or the hedonic treadmill is that as humans, we search for things/experiences that we feel will make us happy, but once we have them, their effect on our happiness dwindles with time.

You can’t wait to buy that new car, and it makes you so happy to drive around in it…for the first few months, then it becomes just a car.

You cannot wait to move into your new home, but after a few years, it is just your home.

The above may be slight exaggerations, but you get the gist.

Our brains are “wired” to get used to stuff. So even AMAZING things, become less amazing with time.

So how do we combat this natural ability to lessen our happiness?

For one: GRATITUDE.

Think back to things you were so happy to be able to purchase/experience in the past, and re-kindle that gratitude today.

Another way: focus on experiences, not things.

We all need things and it is perfectly ok to buy a new vehicle every once in a while, or shiny shoes or etc.

But research shows our happiness scores are higher and last longer when we experience things (vacations, meals, time with friends, etc), even when we believe they will  not. Research also shows that, even though across the board we are happier, and the effects are longer lasting, with experiences, we tend to believe that we will be much happier with the thing that lasts longer rather than the fleeting experience.

So we need to trick our minds a bit and incorporate more experiences into our quest for happiness.

Vacations, bbqs, friendly games of corn-hole, sing and dance with your spouse/partner/friend/family at your house, sit outside with your family making smores around the fire-pit, go camping, etc.

These experiences are truly enjoyable, and the memories are fond and long lasting (in part because they END. The vehicle you buy will last for years, and you get accustomed to it’s presence). Experiences also allow us to feel we are benefitting others (oxytocin is a much longer lasting key to happiness feeling than dopamine. Oxytocin is released when we are connected with others, dopamine is more of a solitary hormone). Others benefit by joining us in the experience, and we can tell others about our experiences more than we can about our “things.” People also are much happier to hear about experiences rather than the new coat you bought 🙂

So get out there today (or if the pandemic limits that, start PLANNING your next experience), create a fuller, longer-lasting happiness by virtue of your experiences!

-Happy Tuesday!

Dr. Lindeman

 

 

 

Your view/your future

This is an excerpt from the book: “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert.

Good book so far.

The point I want to make form the Shakespeare quote is that we need to create our own happiness.

We can “borrow” goals and visions from others, but ultimately, we need to steer our own ship.

Just because you see some successes make others happy, they may not make you feel the same.

Find what lights you up, and work toward doing more of that :-).

-Happy Monday!

Dr Lindeman

It’s about you!

Do you think the #1 pole vaulter in the world even knows who the #1 juggler in the world is?

Does the highest paid cricket player in the world have any idea how much the highest paid toothpaste ad man makes?

Does the world’s most renowned microbiologist have an inkling of who the world’s most renowned sous-chef is?

The answer to all of these questions (I’m 99.9% sure, can’t be 100% because the cricket player and toothpaste guy could be neighbors, you never know) is NO WAY!

The point is, if we scratch and claw to become the best in order to compare ourselves to others, the amount of people we can even compare ourselves to is minuscule when we think of the world as a whole.

We should all strive to be the best we can be at whatever we choose to do (and that doesn’t have to mean a job, or a sport, we can be the best dad/husband/wife/son/friend that WE can be).

But we should NEVER try to be the best in comparison to anyone else.

Because the fact of the matter is, we can never be the best anything besides our best selves!

Happy Tuesday!

At being you!

-Dr Lindeman

Drive the culture!

I love this from Jon Gordon.

If you are a leader of any type (odds are you are in some fashion), your number one job is to drive the culture of those that you lead.

You do this by modeling what you want to accomplish, by listening, by being compassionate.

Lead on my friends!

-Dr Lindeman